DV Awareness- Day 22 I feel like Jay-Z on The Black Album... What more can I say?!? But then he did a whole bunch of more albums after that, so I guess he had a lot more to say. So here goes: We have talked about the elements of physical violence and threatening that typically compose DV. But there is a third element. This involves harassment that rises to the level of substantial emotional distress. Its difficult to prove, but it happens every day. Back in the day, Destinys Child had a name for these folks. They called them Bug-A-Boos.... They bugging what? They bugging who? They bugging me and dont you see it aint cool!!! Heres how it works generally... You go on a date with a person. One date. Nothing more. The date is...uhm....HORRIBLE!!! Five minutes in, youre ready to go. They are obnoxious, judgmental, controlling, stinky, and maybe they give you that vibe that they pick their nose for breakfast... Its sounds nasty, but weve all had a date like this. You cling to your phone (and taser/pepper spray/.22) whenever they get close. You try to be nice. You let them know you dont think there will be another date. But clearly, from that shimmering glimmer of hope in their eyes, they have other plans. They begin to call. You think that not answering the phone will give them a hint. But it doesnt. One call turns to fifty. Fifty calls turns to 100. Then, after you block the number, they call you from another number (usually unlisted). They leave messages asking why you wont call... Didnt you have a good time? ...Where are you? ...Who you with? ...I saw you at your job today by yourself looking..VULNERABLE... When you dont call back, the messages get worse. Look, b!*&$ Im tired of you not calling me back. Im Finna come to your house and you BETTA not be home. You know I love you. I told you I wanted to MARRY you... Eventually, you are looking over your shoulder every few minutes to see if they are there. You get letters on you windshield, flower deliveries at work, an Edible Arrangement at the barbershop/beauty salon...until that fateful day when you get off work, and decide to head to the gym to run on the treadmill. While changing in the locker room, bug-a-boo slips in and angrily starts trying you... Why you not returning my calls?!? I called you 537,648 times this morning. The least you can do is call me back to say you got the calls. Im going to keep following you until you see me for who I am. Im a great catch. Im going to make you see that!!! before running out of the locker room before someone else sees them. Now you are anxious and nervous... You get a prescription for diazepam (or in some states... Some of that real sticky icky green medicinal marijuana with no sticks, no seeds and no stems...Ooh Wee!) to calm your nerves. But they still calling... When are WE going to work out again? I want to spot you. Can you call me back? Well pimps and pimpettes, Im here to tell you that you dont have to put up with that bullsheezy. Keep a log of all your calls and text messages and Facebook messages and emails and letters and cards from them and get you a 50B Domestic Violence Protective Order. There is one key distinction between this and stalking, which is covered under those 50C No Contact Orders that I dont like as much. A 50B requires a personal relationship... Thus, in my scenario, the fact that you previously went on a date with bug-a-boo, should be sufficient in most counties to sustain a previously dating relationship. Remember, harassment is the hardest DV category to prove. Your call logs and text message streams should be one-sided UNLESS your only response to them was Please Stop Contacting Me. If yall were sending emoticons and saying good morning to each other everyday, there goes your case. Dont blow your relief trying to be cordial to the bug-a-boo. This has been a PSA from your boy. Im only trying to help you out. I know we all have got stories. Feel free to post yours below. Please try not to use names as I dont want you to rekindle some forgotten stalkers interest in you.. Peace! #PurplePower ##ImNotFeelingYou...NoMatterWhatYouDo...NoMatterWhatYouSayImLeavingAnyway ###ISpentALotOfMoneyOnYouDiamond ##ItsNow4:15AM...JustFiguredIdCallToSeeWhatYouAreDoing... #HitMeBack
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:05:58 +0000