Dear Zane, First and foremost, Im a huge fan of your work. You probably hear this all the time but I really need some advice from you. Im 20 yrs and Im in my second year of college. Im studying to become a nurse, specifically an APRN, but I digress. Recently, an ex of mine decided to make contact with me after a whole year. We were exclusively dating when he left for the air force. I stayed faithful and stopped talking to my guy friends he thought id placed in the friend zone while he was in Basic Training. I knew i wouldnt hear from him for a few weeks, and occasionally he texted/called. Then weeks turned into months. One day, I tried to post to his wall for his birthday, but he wasnt showing up. He told me that hed deactivated his page and I believed him. Then my best friend showed he a status hed been tagged in by another girl saying that theyd been on a date together the night before and hed liked it and commented it. I pulled out my phone and tried to check but he still wasnt coming up, so clearly hed blocked me. So, I decided that we probably shouldnt be together and he talked back into it and asked me to get engaged. He bought the ring and sent me a picture of it and said he was coming home for my birthday. Of course the day never came because maybe a few months after that, a different girl comes into the picture. Catch this. She starts tagging him in pictures with her and making statuses stating that theyre engaged and shes wearing the ring that he claimed he bought for me. I was devastated, I was a senior in high school while this is going on. So then and there, I decided to let him go. I didnt confront him about and I didnt talk about the situation to anyone. Of course, my family members asked about him, but as I do with all my exes, I pretend that it didnt happen. His family still kept in close contact with me, I graduated with his twin brothers and I still spoke with his parents whenever they saw me. A year goes by, Ive been in college met a lot of different people and I havent started actively dating anyone. Then just the other day, he messages me on Facebook and tells me that he misses me and hes moving back to New York and he wants us to try again. Of course, I dont know how to feel about it, so I told him I have to think about it. I talked to his mom and she told me that he has changed alot. Especially with what happened between him and his ex. (she cheated) My mom never like him from the beginning because he was 2 yrs older than me. Would it be wise to go back this guy? Please help. Sincerely, Desperately Seeking Answers MY RESPONSE: My suggestion is that you concentate on school and when it is time for you to be with a man in a committed relationship, the right man for you will come along. He chose another woman over you and had she not cheated, he would still be with her. You are still young and I understand that you are on the fence but he is only going to bring you more pain. He has TWICE pushed you aside for other women and he sees you as his old faithful that he can fall back on. If he truly loved you, no other woman would have been able to get his attention, rather less get the ring on her finger that he promised to you. You deserve better and not actively dating is not a crime. It just means you are concentrating on other things. Men are not going anywhere. I am proud of you and keep up the good work with your studying. A broken heart can interrupt your schoolwork and you do not need that again. When it is real, you do not have so many concerns about where a mans heart belongs.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 14:33:15 +0000
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