Dear Zane, I have a little situation I need help with. Im 26 years old and my boyfriend of 3 months is 36. Things moved kinda fast between us considering the fact that we already live together. Back in December hes two kids from a previous marriage came to live with us. They are ok kids....at times. His youngest has disrespected me on numerous occasions and I have corrected him on that and his oldest attempt to throw a shoe at me...needless to say I almost lost it. I am a grown woman and I dont play with kids. Ive watched as his kids have disrespected him by calling him blackie & Darkie (they are biracial). When we go to other peoples house these kids act as if we starved them and wants to eat everything in site, his oldest always jumps into our conversation and his youngest just do crazy stuff because he can. Now my boyfriend may yell at them and take away their privileges.(phone video game ect...) But thats about it and they go back to doing the same old crap. This is his first serious relationship in 8 years his ex wife has remarried and moved on but he still seems stuck in the past. He also doesnt know how to split his time between me and them. It comes to the point we have knock out drag out arguments and Ive packed my things on numerous occasions. What do I do?! Ive told him if Im keeping our home cleaning and taking care of him and the boys that eventually I would want to get married and have kids of our own some day. Unfortunately in December I had a miscarriage and I had no ideal I was even pregnant. Hes against the ideal of marriage or more kids. Im not saying I want these things today or tomorrow but I would love to know its an option for us. The problem with the kids and our future always seems to turn into an argument....what can I do to resolve this matter. MY RESPONSE: Leave and I very serious. Moving fast can be a blessing or a curse. Obviously, this is nothing but drama and you are only three months in. He has told you that he is not going to marry you or have kids with you. As long as you are cool with being a long-term girlfriend, stay, If you want more out of your life, you need to end it. What he is basically saying is that he is willing to say yes to being your man but he is not willing to say no to all of his other options. Sometimes there has to be a true death to a relationship for man to appreciate a womans presence. Good luck.
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 18:33:49 +0000
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