Decided to post my blogs here for the moment as I have no idea why they are not working where theyre suppose to…. Challenge to be over-come as a later date :) Soooooooooo…….. My first blog as a Poet :) Seeing this is my first blog, Id best I start with the basics – ME! So here goes – I’m the “older” now single woman, a mum, had been a wife for many years, a daughter, a writer, a saleswoman, a lover, a friend. We, as a society, are more than comfortable to categorise our lives. Like everyone, I have my roles but it’s taken me until now to realise not one category, one role should be taken over by the other. I believe, after my long soul search that started (or when I was aware it started) a few years ago. I awkwardly realised that not one category could make me blissfully happy. I needed a balance and even though I thought I had been doing just that, I have forgotten one crucial category – me! I had stopped listening to myself. I had ceased to care about my inner self. I didn’t knowingly do this, as who would hurt themselves but being busy getting married, having babies, working, wishing and getting a huge house – I lost me in all of that. Don’t get me wrong, nothing I regret, especially my babies as they honour me by being their mum. All of my past has brought me to this point and who I have become. I am grateful for this epiphany though a little late in life. I started recognising through my journal writing what I love, what was important to me and what I couldn’t live without. Writing began to be my therapy; an inexpensive therapy with a therapist who know me better than anyone. The only payment was honesty. In order for me to heal, I needed to be honest with myself; something I hadn’t been for a long time. Through this honesty, I witnessed my inner beauty, my goddessness but I also brutally witnessed my ugliness and I can assure you it hadn’t been pretty. However, it had been strangely empowering. It was then when I began to work of loving myself, my body, my personality and working on the bits I wasn’t so proud about; my impatience, my feistiness (just needed a toned down version of that!), my sometimes thoughtlessness. Of course, these traits will be constantly worked on till the day I part this gorgeous world but always good to strive as long as you don’t get caught up on perfection as I have found, imperfection is perfection! What looking at myself did for me and what writing it down gave me was the clarity to start the journey of self-love. I now believe in my divinity. The people who came into my life at that vital moment (whom I assuredly sub-consciously requested) changed my path. If it hadn’t been for my awareness of that missing “category”, I would not be in this great space I’m in right now. So thank you to the souls I sub-consciously asked to come into my life, thank you for the Universe who heard my prayers and thanks to myself – who listened
Posted on: Thu, 21 Aug 2014 02:00:26 +0000
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