Discrimination. Bullying. Pretty much the same thing. At 51, I thought I was beyond being wounded by someones opinion of me. I dont seek it out (opinions). Besides Facebook, I try to remain anonymous & invisible. I am aware of my weight, and I know why I gained it. It had/has a purpose. At my age, I have learned there were safer/healthier options I could have chosen, but at the time, I acted on what I knew. Self preservation. I regret that decision now, but it was mine to make. No one forced me, I will not pass the buck. Last year I realized the damage this weight & unhealthy lifestyle was taking and joined out Y. Since then, I have lost about 50 pounds, and can walk without assistance for the first time in 8 almost 12 years. As a result, my swimsuit no longer fits. It is so big on me, that last week I inadvertently discovered body parts that must remain covered were sneaking out. So tonight I put on a thick t-shirt and a long, loose pair of shorts to swim. My overweight appearance offended someone and I was asked to leave because I was not wearing proper swim attire. I know of at least 4 others that were in tanks & shorts, or t-shirts and shorts, but I guess their bodies didnt offend. They were not asked to leave. I am mortified. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I should be celebrating the very slow forward momentum. Instead I dont ever want to go back. Just buy a swimsuit you say? I cant. I am 2 different sizes and cannot afford 2 suits. Heck, on my income, I cant afford one. I can no more change my appearance (quick enough, anyway) than one can change the shape of their eyes, the color of their skin, or an extra chromosome. I was covered from neck to knees at all times. If I offend, I apologize, but how does one in my predicament lose weight without going out in public to exercise? I wish people could just be nice to one another. Why do we have to hurt each other? It does not lift us up any higher, or make us better. The feeling one gets from being mean is like a sugar high. It lasts a short time and then you crash. Especially in these frightening days, we need to care for each other, offer a hand or a hug, a kind word. We need to be praying for each other. For whatever the reason, this hurt tonight. I was devastated, and had I not had a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior, I dont know that I wouldnt have given up completely. Open your eyes people! Now is not the time to be petty. The end of life as we know it is fast approaching.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 08:29:22 +0000
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