Easily the most awesome online gamer ever! #4. Fansy the Famous Bard Isnt Touching You, You Cant Get Mad (EverQuest) Online gamers are MacGyvers of murder. There is nothing they cant improvise into death and grief, an art perfected by Fansy the Famous when he inverted a rule preventing high level players from bullying beginners into genocide. The Sullon Zek server was an infamous no rules haven of exploits until Fansy made it cry uncle. The server was 70 percent evil and 20 percent neutral, turning the usual epic battle between good and evil into a circle-stomp on goods weeping face. Every fight went the way combat between an army of evil and a few lone heroes would actually go. Fansy was a level 5 good bard -- in EverQuest terms barely potty-trained and so low other players couldnt attack him. His only combat ability was running faster than a group of lumbering Sand Giants. But Fansy had a plan. He realized that his simple, intimidating power could be turned into a devastating weapon could kill everyone everywhere. So in the middle of a battle that he had no right surviving for more than a minute, Fansy provoked two dozen of the Sand Giants into attacking him. This probably looked profoundly stupid to anyone who bothered to pay attention, since Sand Giants can kill everything. And then Fansy started running. What hed realized is that Sand Giants can only kill what they can catch. And since he was one of the only things in the game that didnt fall under that category, he could kill everything with Sand Giant while they tried to catch him. Fansy annihilated vast swathes of the server by running away at them. But Fansys true exploit was making sure his victims deserved it. Hed wandered around the no rules server like a fantasy Forrest Gump being nice to people, wearing bright colors, and being called Fansy, ensuring that everyone had called him a fag at least twice. Then he unleashed vengeance with a vast conga line of burly giants pounding everyones asses. At which point the cool evil players suddenly decided no rules was unfair and whined until moderators arrived. The first moderator to show up said cool, reminded Fansy there were no rules, and enjoyed watching him do it. The second asked him to stop, based on a rule on the no rules server (which hadnt existed earlier that day), and Fansy acquiesced. All someone had to do was ask nicely! Which no one on Sullon Zek had tried, although they had tried calling him a no-life 12-year-old basement-dwelling homo one million times. Its a little strange that people playing a fantasy game would hate him so much, since hes basically recreated the the exact plot of Lord of the Rings for them: a small, underpowered idiot using unkillable allies to defeat a land of evil. Were sure the irony wasnt lost on Fansy, and that he was just too nice to point it out. Read more: cracked/blog/the-7-most-elaborate-dick-moves-in-online-gaming-history/#ixzz2j71nA85H
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 12:13:11 +0000
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