Episode Ten - “The Beginning of the End ” I think I was brought up by the toughest parents ever, my mum is a Christian woman that wants you to grow in the way of the lord, go to church, read the bible, never miss Sunday school and you must not fail “Christian religious studies” in school just to prove to her that you are a child of God, don’t play football, read books, don’t lie tell the truth and be corrected those are some of my mum’s rules. My Dad on the other side is a principled man, he wants a reason to justify every action, the kind of Dad that will ask you., “Tunde, What do you want to be in future?” You answer “A doctor sir” Then he will ask “why?” You will answer again with reasons like “Because it’s an esteemed profession and it is a service to humanity” Then he will ask you again “why are you given me this answer, is it because You just want to give me an answer or that is what you read in books or what everyone says..?” Now you guys know there is no answer to Mr Momoh Olanrenwaju Alexander’s questions, just breathe. Anytime you face him he always wins….. My family up bringing has thought me so many things, I have learned to always commit my troubles to God, have patience, respect people’s feelings, love without boundaries, Speak with caution, learn from my mistakes and always try to see the reason behind every action I take and receive. Hmmmmm…, I have not been to work since “Facing Goliath Monday” and today is Wednesday, I am going to honour Funke’s invitation and act “James bond” too… I need info and I hope to get it today.. My friend wole has agreed once again to save my behind; he will drop his Toyota corolla for me this morning. Abi how do I go on a date with a lady without a car in Lagos? Na Fu*k-up be that.. I have also settled for a khaki pants, a blue shirt and a black blazer for this rich peoples party, Son of man must represent o. After hours in regular Lagos traffic from the mainland to the island, I finally parked my “borrow borrow make me fine” car and walked into SKS office complex, I could see eyes staring at me, the staffs were more friendly this time and I wasn’t asked to fill the visitors form, I immediately noticed I had an escort.. I remember her to be the lady with Madam the day I came for my project presentation.. She introduced herself as Halimah and asked to take me to the “GM”.. Miss “come and do eyes” was looking cute as usual, a sky blue shirt, black pants and a lovely black shoe, like we had a dress code planned. Light make-up and she was shining bright like the sun. “Mister Babatunde” she sang with a smile after ordering my escort out of her office. ” Madam Funke Salman” I replied “Hope I am well dressed for our party” I requested. “Huh, you know you are a cute guy hun’, I have always been impressed with your dress sense, let me finish up, so we can head out for our party.. Hope you brought your dancing shoe o?.” She teased “Well.., I have got two left legs but you can teach me before I start embarrassing us there” I teased back. “Then you are in for a long class, Mr Edwin Babatunde Alexander. Brace yourself.” She threatened. We got down from her office and she made another request ” hope you don’t mind, I will like to drive you to the party you leave your car here my driver will get it to your house for you.” I wasn’t going to argue with this girl again, I told her not to worry that I will just come and pick my car the next day. Now this is comfort, how many of you guys have been driven in a Mercedes Benz G class with full option before? See dash board, chairs with “massage something”, hear speakers sef.. Na like say na D’banj dey perform for us and Funke’s driving wasn’t bad too… Smooth movement with no iota of rush.. If you have been driven in one of this machine before, then you will understand what I am talking about now. A few D’banj, Tuface and Davido songs later and We were in Osborne estate, see houses Oluwa mi ooo.!! BabaGOD please bless me o.. Let my dreams come true and give me the grace to know and worship you in wealth too. Funke pressed the brake one last time and she pointed to the venue of our party, another magnificent building, an architectural master piece and the garden? na waooo.. Na hotel? I almost asked… “People get money sha.” We got out of the car and Funke walked to me, she helped remove something from my eye lash, gave me a seductive pat on the chest and pressed the gate’s bell. ” Let’s go in” she said, now holding my hands like we are a couple.. Edwin..! Edwin!! Edwin..!!! My inner voice called me, “ehh, you are looking for trouble, this lady don dey hold you like unah be lovers and you carry your big head dey follow like mumu abi? No worry na wetin man dey chop dey kill man” “I know, inner voice” I replied “And I am just here to solve my problem, when am through with this issue “Inner me” you will understand me better”, I thought hoping my inner voice will keep quite now and let me enjoy the party. The party was crazy, mad DJ, lots to eat and drink and Funke was impressed with my dancing skills. As a bonafide ex-Osu (Olabisi Onabanjo University) boy.. We no dey carry last for enjoyment things, she was giving it to me and I was dishing it out to her with style.. Later as the party went on I invited Funke for a chat outside.. We got out into the serene environment, well groomed garden where cool breeze was blowing, it was a very romantic setting and I could see people making out here and there, I took off my jacket and wore it for Funke, she was surprised and happy, “see black girl dey blush oo”, she called me a gentleman and gave me another pat on my well built chest.. (It is good to watch movies o, thanks to Denzel Washington and Brad Pitts, now am romantic. Oh, I forgot to mention RMD and Ramsy Noah too). We walked to our car and I started the gist.. ” Funke, I like you, I like Alhaji and we are already like one big family, it’s so encouraging to come this far in life and still find a sister and father like you and your Dad, I want to work for your Dad but I think I owe my Boss too, if he had not given me the opportunities he gave me I won’t have caught the eyes of SKS Consulting, I am still thinking about the whole thing, I just hope we will still be friends and family if my decision doesn’t fit into your plans” “Can I ask you a question?” I requested “Asked me anything” she said with a sombre voice. “Funke, how did you guys at SKS know about El-Paso and me.?” She sighed, then replied” my Dad has ears here and there and people tell him things, someone recommended El- paso to us during our quest for a Client Base Development consultant, during our scrutiny of El-Paso. Your name came up, and we found out you were the Client Base Development Guru, my Dad and I had a discussion and we prayed you would be sent to us so we can propose our offer to you. “Why buy water when we can sink a well”. I smiled, and then she asked if she could tell me something too. “Am all ears o.. Madam” I answered with a lot of fear, She poked me with a finger and continued. “Stop calling me Madam, please. That is just what I wanted to tell you… I like you, I like you like an Elder brother, I am a young lady, I have always wanted an Elder brother, someone I can always share with, cry to and trust his judgment and advise, I was very close to my Mum before she passed away, My Dad is a wonderful man o but I can’t border him with everything… You seem like that kind of person I can share with and trust.. Maybe that’s why when you are around me I just want to play with you, I feel safe and at home with you, I wanna tell you everything and anything.” I sighed and held her hand then she continued with a pitiful voice… “You see.. When God has blessed a man like he has blessed my Dad, you never know who is a friend, you have everything and everyone is always ready to lick your foot for one favour or the other, I realised early in life that I must be careful with who choose to share secret and important matters with. But you are kinda different. You didn’t jump at my Dad’s offer and that alone is impressive. I told my fiancée about you and he was surprised you haven’t taken the offer yet but for me and my Dad, that is what makes you special, you are not a greedy person.” At this point my heart skipped, “fiancée ke? So she has a suitor? Hmmmmm”... Then I returned to her yarn. “Mr E.B Alexander, even if you don’t take SKS’s offer for whatever reason you give, I promise you my Dad will always help you if you need his help and you will always be My Bigbro from another mother.” She concluded and gave me a hug that seem to last forever. We decided to leave after our heartfelt talk, I told my new found little sister to drop me at Maryland, so I can take a cab home, I checked the time, it was exactly 9.48pm when I dropped, I promised her I will be safe and she drove off promising to call me later to confirm my safety. She was gone for some minutes before I realised I left my jacket with my second phone in it in the car.. I shrugged and called a bike to drop me in my house. I will pick it up tomorrow morning with Wole’s car. I got home and found my apartment opened, have been robbed! I sneaked in like Jack Bauer of the action Series “24″, only to see my “Aniksy peperoni” lying on the sofa, I hissed and walked to her. My Anike isn’t like this, how can I enter and my baby Won’t show any sign of joy. I tried to tease her with a kiss but she pushed me away and snapped at me. “Who is Funke, Why is she with your phone and where are you coming from?” My people, now how and where should I start my explanation, “monkey dey chop Banana, Monkey dey scratch yansh, Monkey no know say na wetin sweet dey kill person?”.. Choi..! I don DIE.!!!
Posted on: Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:43:22 +0000
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