FAQ: How long will it take me to get divorced? Not to sound like a lawyer here, but the answer is, it depends. For an uncontested divorce – i.e. divorce where both parties agree on everything and draw up the necessary documents together – the answer can be as short as a week. However, if the parties aren’t cooperating (which is usually the case!), the divorce process will drag on. I was thinking about this last week after I mediated a divorce in Valencia County. These parties had no property, but there were complexities regarding the children and a long history of abuse, addiction and law enforcement involvement with the family. After allowing each party to vent, in the end, I was able to help them focus on what was in the best interest of the children; and once that happened, everything else fell into place. In less than one day, we completed a divorce that included debt distribution and a detailed time-sharing schedule. Total cost for their divorce: Zero. Contrast this with a case I was involved in a couple years ago. I represented the wife in an Order of Protection matter. In discussing whether she would hire me for the divorce, I made clear that I saw no real issues, because their children were older teenagers; their house was in foreclosure; and there was no other property or debt, with the exception of the husband’s modest pension. I told her I could just contact the husband’s attorney and we’d decide which party would do the paperwork to divide the pension, and we could be done. She was horrified by this suggestion! She insisted that he be made to “pay” for everything she put up with during the marriage. She also said she did not want their girls to have any contact with him. I tried explaining that fighting about these things would be extremely expensive and had no reasonable chance of success. Neither she nor the husband could afford this; and no court order was going to heal the hurt from the years they were together. As you can guess, she chose another law firm for the divorce. I recently checked on the status of her case, however, and I see that she is STILL not divorced, after nearly two years! The legal fees by this time must be in the tens of thousands of dollars, which these parties can not afford - and all, in my opinion, for nothing. So back to the question of how long your divorce should take to be completed. I think the best predictor is whether you are able to resist the temptation to want to see your spouse punished. Believe me that in the end, 1. Your spouse won’t get punished and 2. The desire for retribution will drag out the divorce (and legal fees, if you have lawyers) into infinity. Put aside your hurt and do your best to get it done. Of course, your spouse has to work with you, too. It’s OK if you need help to do this – that’s what lawyers are for! Just make sure your case keeps moving forward. Anything else is a waste of time, money and spiritual energy.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:14:46 +0000
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