"Father if it be possible, let this cup pass." I too cry this from the bottom of my soul. I too do not wish for the pain and humiliation of death to self. All your gifts, your calling and your destiny.... you died to them all. You who could deliver from Rome, chose instead to die on a Roman cross. You who were the King of Heaven, died to the crown of an earthly kingdom. You who healed the sick, died in a broken body. You who comforted so many, died alone. I desire to follow you Lord Jesus into that place of death. You died to self, counting the shame as nothing compared to the glories that awaited. You trusted the One who could raise you from the dead and crown you as Lord of all. Glorious Son of God became the despised Son of Man. You of whom the angels sang "Glory to God in the highest!" became of no reputation. "He could save others, but he cannot save himself!" This death to which you call me is a dark curtain and a frightening path. You call me to die to my very gifts from you. You call me to die to my purpose, my dreams and my calling. You call me, Lord Jesus, to fill up your afflictions and be lifted up on the cross with you. My flesh shudders and cries out... LORD! Let this cup pass from me. Self cannot crucify self. As You, oh Lamb of God, were lifted up to shame and scorn and death by others.... so too must I enter into your death by the hands of others. I embrace your servants as they find me out and expose my bankruptcy and nothingness. I welcome the jeers and shame as they strip away the filthy rags of my own righteousness, and leave me hanging naked and exposed. I beg you to do what I cannot do... to make me humble, of no reputation, stripped of my own image, dreams and agendas... emptied of self so that I may be filled with your Spirit. Bring me to the Cross and let me die there with You. Let me not shrink from it as your disciples did at first. Let me be as they later were... after Pentecost... when they finally entered joyfully into your death. You answered the fear of death with "Nevertheless, not my will but thine." Make this my prayer too. Let me die with You, so that I may live with You.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Jul 2013 15:16:28 +0000
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