Finally made some New Years resolutions. 1: Stop texting the wrong people by accident. 2: Stop leaving the burner on the stove on high and forgetting about it. 3: Stop putting water bottles in your purse when the cap isnt on tightly. Or maybe do it just one more time, since youve already done it twice & everything comes in threes. Just use a less nice purse next time. 4: Finish your book. 5: Make a budget, keep it, triple your income. 6: Be better at everything. 7: Stop making impossible to-do lists. 8: Start making possible to do lists, and use positive language. You asshole. 9: Eat popcorn. Its delicious. (***denotes achievable resolution) 10: Floss (***) 11: Consider whether it is possible to earn money by inventing band names. If not, consider spending less time saying that would make a good band name. 12: Spend less time thinking about what would make a good epitaph for your tombstone. 13: Get enough sleep. 14: Learn how to do without sleep like Leonardo da Vinci. 15: Accept once and for all that you really like sleeping. 16: If all else fails, console yourself with the fact that in 2014 you faked an orgasm onstage in a Christmas play while spanking yourself with a severed hand and shouting Oh Santa!
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 01:14:16 +0000
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