Fisticuffs mar inspired Chico performance and Krovich’s birthday celebration as the Bonders drop hard fought softball contest to Cheat Lake Royals in game shortened by protested umpire decision. Playing like the world would end tomorrow, Chico’s battled their asses off in the field, at the plate, and on the bases against their 1st place prima donna opponent. In front of a raucous, vocal, and highly partisan Chico fan following at an overflowing Liberatore Field, the Bonders took an 11-9 nail biter into the bottom of the 6th and next to last inning when all hell broke loose. After a close play at 2nd base, Chico 2B Tom Batchelor got tangled up with a cocksure, but overrated Royal base runner. Tempers flared, pushes were exchanged, punches flew, and benches cleared. In a knee jerk reaction, Batchelor and the base runner were ejected and the game was prematurely called and awarded to the Royals. Stunned Chico players pleaded with the umps to continue but to no avail, leading to an official protest of the game’s shortened result with BOPARC officials. As the Royals gloated and celebrated with their cans of Pepsi and boxes of Juicy Juice, their young girlfriends’ eyes blazed with excitement, knowing that their oversized and rotting vaginas would soon be filled with sweaty, dusty victory penises. But in reality… “I thought it’d be bigger.” “But baby, I had three triples tonight.” “I was REALLY hoping it would be bigger.” “Didn’t you see me stretch that single into a triple.” “What’s a triple?” “I’m the best player in BOPARC Single A softball EVER.” “I thought that Chico 1B was kind of cute.” In the meantime, Chico players celebrated the night away, drinking whiskey, puffing cigars, dancing on bar tables, swimming with sharks in the Mon River, taking rides in police helicopters, and pissing on walls of faceless downtown establishments that nobody ever goes to- all before setting the whole damn town on fire (and with still enough time to make it home before sunrise to please their significant others with every inch and so much more). Happy Birthday Dave Krovich! The entire Chico Nation thanks game MVP Tom Batchelor for doing what every single team member wanted to do throughout the game- punch one of those cocky no good pricks in the mouth. I would rather be a Chico on a last place team than to be a Cheat Lake Royal. CHICO!!! Game Notes. Due to his ejection, Batchelor will have to sit out next Wednesday’s game against Cheat Mountain Bank. Negotiations and contract discussions currently are ongoing with former Chico 2B Jeff Hindal to fill Batchelor’s spot for the next game.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 06:12:58 +0000
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