{Following up from the video I posted yesterday} First of all, I LOVED the video and I am a true believer of giving service to others! It was King Benjamin who said to his people, “Learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). And it was Mormon who taught in his words in the Book of Mormon, “Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him”. It IS good to give, serve, do, go, bake, take, drive, babysit, clean, and help others, BUT... Thinking you are a bad person for saying NO when you arent able to serve someone is a symptom of the disease to please. Saying yes when you NEED to say no causes burnout. You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time. I think (as moms especially) we have this constant voice in our heads saying do more, give, give, give serve, serve, serve...even when sometimes we have nothing LEFT to give, give, give. We need to remind ourselves that we CAN and SHOULD say no when we feel like we cant give at that time in our lives. Only a few days after losing my baby, the neighbor came over to ask if I could run her around doing errands for the day. My milk was still coming in, I was wrapped in cabbage leaves to stop the milk supply, but my automatic answer to her request was of course I can help! My sweet husband piped in immediately after hearing my answer to her and said Im sorry, but she cant. She would be happy to help you in a few weeks once our lives have settled, but right now is not a good time. I learned at that moment that it IS OKAY to say no. A life saving lesson. We shouldnt beat ourselves up when we need to say no to someone. The guilt that we feel when we tell someone not right now is Satans way of telling us that we arent good enough, that we are being SELFISH. And often people feel manipulated into doing something... the voice in our heads saying The ice cream social on Friday just wont happen without your help! YES IT WILL. Maybe you can be in charge of the ice cream social next month instead. And besides, if you say no, it might force others (who never get asked) to say yes. Giving a brief explanation can make the person understand why you cant do the thing he wants you to do. You dont have to be excessive about it, but giving just a sentence or two of explanation can help the person see that you have too much going on to complete the task. You dont have to lie or make up excuses. Just be honest. Here are some explanations for why you cant do something...I cant drive you to the dentist tomorrow because I already made plans with a friend who is coming into town. and I cant babysit for you today because I promised my son I would help out in his classroom. Going one step further and saying I cant help, but let me see if I can help you find someone who can help out today! AND dont always feel like you NEED to give an explanation as to why you cant help. Sometimes you just have to say no, Im sorry I cant. Easy enough. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself! If we don’t take care of ourselves, sooner or later we won’t be of much use to anyone else—or to ourselves. Just as the airline attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask in an emergency before helping a child with theirs, you must take care of your own basic needs before you can attend to the needs of others. GIVE service when you can... as MUCH as you CAN! Serving others brings happiness to the giver and the receiver, I testify of this! To see the look on another mothers face when I tell her that I want to watch her kids for her while she goes grocery shopping alone is priceless. To have someone tell me that Ive made a difference in their day is the best feeling EVER! But remember YOU. Dont put yourself on the bottom of heap because you are too busy ALWAYS helping others. Know your limits. The Lord loves YOU. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to take care of yourself and your family. We will NOT be held accountable for telling someone Im sorry, I cant help you today... maybe tomorrow. But we WILL receive extra blessings by doing good for others when we can! the end.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 16:28:08 +0000