For family/friends who are interested?? xxx Having fibromyalgia means everything has changed, and a lot of these changes are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about FMS and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually mis-informed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand .. These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me .. Please understand that being sick doesnt mean Im not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit I probably dont seem like much fun to be with, but Im still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about my work and my family and friends, and most of the time Id still like to hear you talk about yours too. Please understand the difference between happy and healthy. When youve got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but Ive been sick for years. I cant be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if youre talking to me and I sound happy, it means Im happy. Thats all. It doesnt mean that Im not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that Im getting better, or any of those things. Please, dont say, Oh, youre sounding better!. I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, youre welcome. Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes, doesnt necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. And, just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesnt mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases youre either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing. Please repeat the above paragraph substituting the act of standing with sitting, walking, thinking, being sociable and so on .. it applies to everything. Thats what FMS does to you. Please understand that FMS is variable. Its quite possible (for me, its common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day Ill have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please dont attack me when Im ill by saying, But you did it before! If you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, if this happens please do not take it personally. Please understand that getting out and doing things does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me that I need a treadmill, or that I just need to lose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, try these classes .. may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct .. if I was capable of doing these things, dont you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and physical therapist and am already doing the exercise and diet that I am suppose to do. Another statement that hurts is, You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder... Obviously FMS deals directly with muscles, and because our muscles dont repair themselves the way your muscles do, this does far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity. Also, FMS may cause secondary depression (wouldnt you get depressed if you were hurting and exhausted for years on end!?) but it is not created by depression. Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now - it cant be put off or forgotten just because Im out for the day (or whatever). FMS does not forgive. If you want to suggest a cure to me, dont. Its not because I dont appreciate the thought, and its not because I dont want to get well. Its because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with FMS then wed know about it. This is not a drug-company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with FMS, if something worked we would KNOW. If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but dont expect me to rush out and try it. Ill take what you said and discuss it with my doctor. In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick - I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out... Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the physical therapist. I need you on a different level too .. youre my link to the outside world... if you dont come to visit me then I might not get to see you. ... and, as much as its possible, I need you to understand me.
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 19:20:35 +0000