For those ladies intending to commit to (or already in) a relationship that they believe would lead to the altar, ensure that you marry someone for the qualities he possesses now, not for the qualities you hope he will develop. The most common mistake made by marriage partners is marrying someone they intend to change. Since it is nearly impossible to change a person, you will set standards of dating, or of building friendship with men who are characterized by the qualities below. A single woman can sidestep a lifetime of tragedy and heartbreaks by seriously considering these characteristics in a prospective steady date: 1. Puts the needs of others ahead of his own. This man accepts people just the way they are, loving others even when his love is not returned. He will continue to love someone because of his commitment to that person/the relationship, not because of how he feels (Phil 2:3-4). 2. Rejoices in his relationship with Christ. You don�t have to ask this man if he is a Christian. His joy in the Lord is evident in his life. (John 15:11) 3. Maintains Proper relationships. This man seeks a good relationship with everyone � from his friends to his parents (family). He listens to differing perspectives without feeling threatened. He has the strength to back off from a fight. He works to �forgive wrongs� done to him and seeks to make his own offences right. He will not hold a grudge (Heb 12:14). 4. Refuses to jump ahead of God�s timing. He is not so eager to be something, do something, or have something that he cannot wait in God�s timing. He chooses against impulsiveness so he may be in the exact centre of God�s will. (Psalm 37:7). 5. Seeks to meet the practical needs of others. He is not so self-absorbed that he cannot make time for the needy. He is interested in the welfare of others and is willing to give time, money, and energy for their benefit. (Eph 4:32). 6. Stands for what is Right. He hates anything contrary to God�s holy character. He is known as a man of �integrity� by those with whom he works. (Rom 2:9-10). 7. Follows through on his God-given responsibilities. He uses the talents God has given him and realizes that �he + Jesus = adequacy for any God-given job.� He is neither �overconfident� nor a dreamer, wishing for more ability, but a diligent steward of the talents he has been given. This man is dependable and stays with even a difficult task until it is completed. (1st Corinthians 4:2 NIV). 8. Understands the importance of Feelings and Emotions. Some women may find themselves attracted to a �demanding man,� assuming that his dominance will be their security. Other women may marry a �doormat� they can dominate, but inevitably end up despising the man�s weakness. A gentleman is the Best of both; he takes the initiative to lead but tempers it with gentle responses towards the other�s feelings. (Col. 3:12). 9. Flees temptations to compromise. This man refuses to be in situations that are sensual, immoral, or impure. He does not entertain friendships that lead to drunkenness or carousing. He avoids talks that could cause strife or jealously. This man does not allow a temper to control him or anger to destroy him. (Prov. 25:28). These qualities are not unrealistic ideals. When a man follows Jesus, the Holy Spirit works these into his life. In fact, you can read this list again and match the fruits of the Spirit with the appropriate characteristics. �But the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control: against such things there is no law.� (Gal. 5:22-23). NONE OF THE MEN YOU DATE WILL HAVE ALL THESE QUALITIES PERFECTED. All of us are at different levels of �maturity.� A kingdom man is one who works towards being conformed to the character of Christ. BUT BE CAREFUL WHEN A QUALITY OF GOD�S SPIRIT IS COMPLETELY MISSING IN A MAN�S LIFE AND HE IS UNWILLING TO DEAL WITH IT BEFORE MARRIAGE. Realize that if character is absent before the wedding ceremony, it will be missing after the wedding ceremony and cause considerable problems during marriage. So shine your eyes.
Posted on: Wed, 18 Sep 2013 20:44:43 +0000
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