For those that know me, & those that know me well, know what I have lived through these past 10yrs of my life. My husband of just shy of 26 yrs married and 29 yrs together know that Bud committed suicide. Those that know me even better know that I tried to kill myself about 4 yrs later. Suicide hits everyone, whether you admit it or not. I have never hidden the fact that Bud took his own life. Not from the very beginning nor now. I had alot of people tell me, I needed to come up with a different story because the Stigma of suicide will follow me forever. I declined. Why would I give a shit what others thought? It would be their own stupidity. I wasnt going to live a lie. When you lose a loved one to suicide, you never forget, it is not something you get over. It is something you walk. You learn coping mechanisms. It changes those left behind forever. You can never go back. You cannot blame cancer, a stupid driver, bad health, old age... you cannot place the guilt on anyone or anything else. So in order to survive, you develop amazing coping skills. Otherwise, the pain can &will kill you. You can try to ignore it, hide it - that will eat you up inside. When a celebrity dies by suicide - it gets plastered over every media site & outlet possible for days. It brings your emotions to the surface afresh. Depending, on whose role you played in your own experience, you relate to those in that situation at hand. You have shared empathy. Immediately, I thought of Robins wife & children. The impact on them. What their future will hold. What changes they will face in the days, months & years to come. R.I.P Robin. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family and pray that they will be ok. I know the damage & loss of suicide. It sucks!
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 17:27:40 +0000
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