***From A Male Reader*** NO BASHING!!! I know my girl reads this page and if she sees this she might get mad or it might make a difference. We have been together for 14 yrs valentines day and in this 14 yrs i have hurt and disrespected her by cheating and lying. I have no excuses. Truthfully i cheated because my self esteem was shit and the girls made me feel better. It wasnt because of my girl. That woman has been through hell before me and look what i did! I f**king destroyed the only woman i ever loved, the mother of my children-my best friend. 6 years later, i get it. I realize how much damage i caused. How hard it was to take me back and how hard it is to trust me. I f**ked up and i cant fix it. Seeing her cry when it all gets brought up kills my soul. Thats why i dont want to talk about it-not because i want to act like it never happened. She cant trust me at this time and i understand why. I betrayed her and i broke my commitment with her. I even left her and my children for a woman i worked with and hid the affair for a year. I did her dirty and yet, she is still with me. But i know i dont deserve her and that she deserves a better man. I have been faithful to her the last 6 yrs but that isnt enough. I think shes going to leave me sometimes when we argue. I think shes tired of me. I think im selfish and it killed my relationship. If she leaves i cant blame her. I want her to be happy with me but if she cant then i just want her to be happy. Im sorry and will never be able to make it okay. I ruined the best thing i ever had. Im so f**king ashamed of myself. Im praying she stays and we make it work and grow old together-but if she leaves i have no one to blame but myself.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Jan 2014 02:15:03 +0000