From Pastor Dunamis. Friday, November 22 Wisdom for singles and married couples for managing In-laws from becoming out-laws! Sophia writes: ‘In-laws!’ that sounds like horror in the ears of those who have been victims of their cruelty. Notwithstanding, in-laws could actually be blessings from heaven. By definition, an in-law is a relative by marriage; that is, by becoming one flesh with your spouse in marriage, you become related to all those related to you by covenant. That is like merger and acquisition, they become your acquired family and relative. The problems with in-laws usually arise from lack of mutual respect and refusing to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is simply lack of understanding and gross selfishness. Let us narrow it down specifically to the sons/daughters in-law. You are a son/daughter in-law because you are an adopted son/daughter of your spouse’s parents. It is true however that some in-laws, especially mother in-laws can be difficult. Some mother in-laws have literally torn down their childrens homes by immaturity. Some have turned themselves into their daughter in-law’s rival, competing for the man and claiming he is her son. Some fathers in-law have selfishly demanded for their daughters attention. They call the shots, give rules, instructions, and issue orders as if they are the Lord of that house. In cases of strained relationships, what should the couples do? When a young couple starts out their marital experience, they should not be bothered and weighed down by in-laws insensitivity. Dunamis writes: In-laws are not supposed to be out-laws! But I can tell you authoritatively that many marriages have been wrecked by in-law issues. Handling in-laws require a high level of wisdom, God’s wisdom, not the wisdom of this world to handle them. In as much as there are bad experiences with in-laws, of people who have had the worst experiences, I can also tell you there are people who have had the best of in-laws, who had never had a day of quarrel or animosity yet they lived together! I have had a few give that kind of report. But in a general sense, people with bad experiences seem to be on the high side. I have always advised young couples. Don’t bother to invite your in-laws to stay with you in a permanent sense, unless it becomes absolutely impossible as a result of health issues or some other pressing matters. You don’t need that kind of interference in your marriage and home. There are enough pressures you’ll have, but add more pressures from in-laws can be an unwise decision. The issues that arise from in-laws are usually as a result of generational gap. The way your parents or in-laws think, do things, see things, their judgment, sometimes to the minutest things are just too different and disenfranchised from the way you see them. An in-law advises you. You see the advice as ridiculous and unbelievable. You either ignore it or reject it deliberately. Your in-law feels insulted? How hold is he or she? And then all kinds of issues start arising. Strife comes in. The atmosphere at home becomes tense. The husband or wife has a dream. It could the in-law! And so on and so forth! Strife is not what you can afford in any way! Pro 17:1 KJV Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. Strife will practically stifle everything! Decide to have peace at your home. When your wife starts complaining about in-laws, listen to her. Rather than dismiss her in an insensitive way because they are your parents, try and listen to what she is saying and what she is not saying. Put yourself in her shoes and don’t easily dismiss her complaints as ‘women’s problem’ Don’t add to the issues. Your relationship with your spouse is now more superior to your relationship with your parents! That is the Bible. While you must not in any way be rude to your parents, you must put your feet down and protect your spouse! Gen 2:24 KJV Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. The word “leave” is ‘azab’ in Hebrews means ‘to relinquish.’ The word ‘cleave’ is ‘dabak’ and it means ‘to catch by pursuit’ or ‘to follow hard.’ You are to leave to cleave and these principles must come to bear when you deal with parents and in-laws! You were pursuing him or her before marriage, dont stop the pursuit after marriage! As a single, if you are already going through ‘hell’ from in-laws and you are not married yet, don’t think it is going to change with marriage. Be wise, take an inventory of your relationship in consonance with God’s plans for your life before you plunge into it. Tomorrow, we will look at more practical ways of handling in-laws. Will you like to give your life to Jesus Christ or rededicate your life? Then pray this prayer sincerely now: Lord Jesus, come into my life. I believe you died for my sins and you rose up on the third day. I accept you today as my Lord and personal savior. I proclaim you as my Lord today! I ask for your forgiveness today, I am a new creature, old things are passed away, and all things are become new. I am born again! Amen. If you just decided for God and prayed that prayer, Congratulations! CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I dwell on my strengths and not my weaknesses. I am secured in God and I am a success in all I lay my hands on. PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I don’t know. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 32:5 BBE I made my wrongdoing clear to you, and did not keep back my sin. I said, I will put it all before the Lord; and you took away my wrongdoing and my sin. ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on temperaments
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 06:38:51 +0000