God Morbid in UnCoincidence, reaper ever winning in the end; Ucreated a perfectly ugly world and fate, turning chaosfactor, humanity, all world against me in a biography screaming: Systematically, incoincidetally ripped me down. What to tell humans? Just imagine sheer evil creates ur daily world, psychologically cruel as can be merely avoids to, besides aging destroying ur body a way humans can´t repair at least for the eye, or how it feels. Gods Outing Dec2012 showed my an world which was ever anti-me, far, close to free from anything that i am, love, search. How it kept me blind, busy, able to forgett crass, mocking incoincidences a hundret anti-lottery-jackpotts in chance by now? We know this is a competitious world, everything counts in large amounts. Obviously evil uses what is next to you to hurt u: Ur homevillages problemkid, later iin two attempts to transistion morbid egoisticly[hurs itselfe to hurt u] friends caused trauma, a post-traumatic shiz-voice in my head forcing me to a doc which poisoned me over 6 years into closedeath and back, the last poison granting my father chance to in total blindright force me into my car, threath to blackout by narcoleptic attacks. As the parents couldn´t chance, friends which didn´t do much better retreated, the world went down the drain, chaosfactor, humanity, tech/world grew to be more and more permantly bugged, to that the shizo-voice began to already mock as if it could predict shit to happen, not even subcoiciously i could got any hint or clue it would. With it´s Outing god didn´t stop but intesivied the torment, hammering evil since is daily torment. Taking my PC to a shop, not even beliefing humans could repair it, merely to do anything at all, talk to somebody. At age32 my family and surounding world gave me up, nobody seemed to see any hope for myslfe i could see a lifeworthy life, still make it up to somethinng not freezing to death under a bridge in one or two years. As in the close to not functioning world zombies attacked in blindness, driven by greed or sadism, accidents showered onto me, dehumanisation with all might, police beating me up and denying me to report anything, the Jobcenter mobbing me out of the social system, denying me most basic rights it before my eyes granted anyone. With this total injustice in six days i and my belongings will be driven out to become a homeless not in a real, hard world but in a sureal hell without chances. As i only gladly saw a relativly normal early childhood, hard later and youth fighting up to maybe two years till i outed age 18... what came after my therap ex-called war. Then, Dec2012 God ended Reality, Humanity, my Life as he bruted me to the point suicide was the only escape before the tense agony: To laughing cause another anti-wonder; As Usually keeps subtle, sneaks... it enjoyed to not: But to simply keep people blind and use them as puppets against. It outed in directly attacking hope itselfe as i only can describe in human words. Shortly before i found a candiFLA on youtube i hardly but did realize my sighing in breathtaking, chemically enhanced depression didn´t sound male anymore. With having seen candFLA perfom a sudden and switch in a gradient which she explained through logopaedic training: the same night layed on my bed, in euphoria all depression forgotten, alive! Feeling as age14 maybe, unbeliefably happy and thankfull, as i knew for it felt funny choosing the Wehrmacht´s K98 Carbine Rifles Specifications... i wish i had recorded how i sounded, the soul behind the words i choosed... a girl with gun u maybe only know from animes, livly and eager to please to see others happy for her selve. God Morbid called her not innocent as i called her a gender of sheer kewtality. The voice whichs resonance in myselfe was maybe the best i ever felt stayed a while, in a laughter as silver bells as i made my first steps in feale role. As God Mordbid only granted a few glimpse of light, made the road impossble hard, a torment and threathfull irony, soulconsuming travesty. I felt only free of God Morbids, the shiz voice in my head with the one i felt as life, wonder. As 08 God Morbid hhoked me into neardeath, in unspeakable sadness i cried: I coud never show my beloved how much i love them!. It told me:Ego would hold to anything! to kick me down to fall as into shadowy feathers, yet didn´t choke, but awoke in sureal hell. Parents simply ignoring me, standing there with dead eyes... as i was threath, just had nearly died they told me: Moo?1?. Over the second attempt to transition became sureally complicated to bind to see when they did what kills all life, mistook black for one or count 1+1=Moo!!!. Today my father is monstrosity grunting, barking and yelling worldhate, claiming the right on murder as career decides who gotta suffer under whom!, proudly can´t change hating himselfe into heartattack. My mother eariler a naive but kind woman tending to fly on cloud seven if she faced trouble today is a wrinkled, twist thing belieing it got alzheimer. Sniffing naivly, insulting to see her so sure i stole a 50€ wristwatch not have been at my parents house for a year if they wheren´t, blaming me, unable to excuse as she herselfe had forlorn it, making up lies hurtfully cheap to as all my world: With all means neccesary avoid to ever once say sry. Age 32 still, 6 days before beeing whiped onto the streets, all human rights denied in unspeakable ill luck not even human no more, the last hooker abe to earn one cent more worth, leading a freer life than myselfe. Kept down with the lowest 10-5% of society im pushed now down to the zero, to die as a homeless?
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 13:11:46 +0000
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