I am a young man who has started to think of getting married, but I have a few questions that I want to find out about before I look for a wife. With regard to the wife, who is the woman who is religiously committed, whom the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged us to seek? I know that the more knowledgeable, devoted to worship, pious and involved in da’wah she is, the better, but what about the one who is less than that, such as if she only does the obligatory duties – is she considered to be religiously committed in the sense meant by the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? What about the one who wears hijab that does not cover the face, or niqaab that does not cover the eyes – is she regarded as religiously committed? In other words: if the man’s family chooses a girl who does the obligatory duties and wears hijab that shows the face, does he have the right to refuse to propose to her because she is not religiously committed?. Praise be to Allaah. Advice to marry the woman who is religiously committed – who is the one who is religiously committed? (a) The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying women who are religiously committed, as he said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466. ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: What this means is that a man who is religiously committed and of noble character should make religion his focus in all things, especially with regard to long-term matters. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined finding a wife who is religiously committed, which is the ultimate goal. “may your hands be rubbed with dust” is urging him to strive hard and roll up his sleeves and seek that which is enjoined. ‘Awn al-Ma’bood (6/31). (b) With regard to the attributes of religiously committed women, we may list many attributes which apply to women who are described as religiously committed. These include: 1. Sound belief This is the most important attribute. The woman who is from ahl al-sunnah wa’l-jamaa’ah will have achieved the highest and most precious characteristic of religiously-committed women, and the one who is a follower of bid’ah (innovation) and misguidance will not be one of the religiously committed women whom the Muslim is encouraged to marry, because of the bad effect that she will have on the husband or children, or on both. 2. Obedience to her husband, and not going against him if he enjoins something that is right It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: It was said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): Which of women is best? He said: “The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells her to do something, and does not disobey him with regard to herself or her wealth in a way that he dislikes.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3131); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned together three important characteristics to be found in the good, righteous wife. They are: (i) When he looks at her, he is happy with her religious commitment, attitude, behaviour and appearance. (ii) When he is away from her, she protects his honour and his wealth. (iii) If he tells her to do something, she obeys him, so long as he does not tell her to commit sin.
Posted on: Sun, 22 Sep 2013 05:31:03 +0000
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