I am sorry I am such a failure at being a father that you dont want me to be part of your life if I did not love you so much it would not hurt so bad when you keep shutting me out yesterday it hurt so bad that you all ready moved to Alfred with out even telling me I really looked forward to haveing you here to go to collage then for the next 8 months you did not even talk to me you have no idea how much that hurt I have tryed my best to be a good father to you I know I have made a lot of misstakes but it wasnt for how much I cared about you or how proud I have always been being your father I used the phone to call mine and it worked ok just like when your mother was useing it to call me even that you keep telling me it would not work when you texted me and when you wanted to go out to eat to talk I thought we were putting this all behind us but I guess not when you did not even tell me what you were doing or that you allready had a differant phone that you were useing and not even telling me the number I was wrong to just put your card on the tree but you just dont under stand how much that hurt me when you sent me a picture of one with muska on it or that you still beleive what you told me or how much it hurts that you dont feel that my apinoin means anything any more I do love you and want what is best for you but everything you have done for almost a year now is telling me you dont want anything to do with me any more and leaveing the phone kinda tells it all I wanted to be the father you would always come to before you did anything one you could always talk to about anything and I failed to be that for you I am sorry I am sorry forthe way things are now it is just the way your mother has always wanted it to be between us sence you were born and that is why I fought so hard to be in your life and to give you my name maybe if I would not had to fight so hard to be there for 18 years maybe it would not have hurt so bad when I seen me loseing you I am sorry for all my mistakes I have made in life you know how to find me if you want to have anything to do with me and if you dont try I will know you do not and I will leave you a lone love dad
Posted on: Wed, 21 Aug 2013 10:39:39 +0000
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