I dont notice Aspie Noodles emotional state unless we are out of the house, I think it becomes more apparent when hes in a more open space or Im just more cautious when we are in the wild. Today the Tiny Noodle wanted to go to the park, so the husband and I loaded everyone up to take them on a grand adventure. However; the park that we picked did not have fun stuff it was a camp ground with a wild bird exhibit and a bunch of trails. After hiking in the woods for a few minutes I noticed two things…I would not survive in the hunger games and Aspie Noodle never, ever stops talking. I got over the fact that I wouldnt win the games pretty quick but the part about Aspie Noodle really weighed heavy on my mind. It wasnt the fact that he kept talking because talkers are just talkers, it was his random, nervous conversation that I couldnt understand. He kept repeating the same thing over and over and over. Tiny Noodle realized soon that these trails did not lead to a swing set and he started to worry that we were lost and told his dad that he didnt like adventure time. I started to crack up and was glad I wasnt the first one to complain…I was biting my tongue for 15 minutes. When we were done with the winding trails of fun, we loaded back in the car and headed to a real park. When we arrived I saw Aspie Noodle avoid the other kids, struggle when he was cornered and asked his name and watched him scared for his life as he attempted to climb something that much smaller children were whipping through. I worried then. Those worries I had when he was smaller came back. Those ones that made me feel that he would be left out or excluded…I felt those again. I wanted to hurry up and hug him and take him away but I knew I would be hurting him more if I did. There is never a day that passes that any of my children are safe from me worrying too much but Ill be quite honest, I feel like maybe Im the one to blame. Did I do something wrong? I never feel embarrassed and Ive learned to not feel ashamed or the need to explain when there is an outburst or an episode but Im starting to wonder if Im explaining it well enough to them? To him.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Apr 2014 01:12:37 +0000
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