I had many year to learn about the “new” me, except it wasn’t the “new” I wanted to accept. Learning to accept the new me was very difficult. I only relied on myself, didn’t let others in on my thoughts or feelings. I had been hurt severely in every possible way. I wanted love and acceptance, and living in self-denial set me back. My best friend was me. I had lots of other friends, but they came and went. You can be who you pretend to be to others but you will never escape who you are to yourself. I, like many other TBI survivors, had to re-learn myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my likes and dislikes, pet peeves, everything! Some things, in my case, were different and most were the same. By denying yourself acceptance of who you have become you only end up hurting yourself. I used almost any method to prove to myself I was the same. But no matter how long or many ways I tried to convince myself I was this whole new person who hadn’t developed her ways of making new friends, doing what I enjoy. I listened to others in my life, done what they wanted. In the end my wants and needs prevailed above everyone and everything else. What I’m saying is that you are a new creative person! Begin to accept your “new” self slowly. Try things and see if they work out. If they don’t, fine, do something else or do it another way. You are you. There is nothing wrong with you. You just receive input from your environment differently now. It’s okay to feel different. You are not a monster you feel you are. You have been given a new lease on life. Take it by the horns.....and go! It has been a long and tiresome ride, but I made it! I am at a point in my life where I am comfortable with myself. Did it happen overnight? No, definitely not! I had a year of disappointments and depression, I only regret one thing and that is not accepting myself sooner. I sure would have avoided a lot of heartache and disappointment for myself.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Sep 2013 06:30:11 +0000
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