I just have to share something with you. Bob is having a better morning. He was able to sit in a chair for breakfast and the nurses wheeled him out in front of the big window that overlooks Nash. They found Billy Graham for him and he sat perfectly still and listened. So did the nurses because their area is where he is sitting. Another precious thing is that he has preached, sung gospel songs and hymns, prayed, given altar pleas, shared our work in Romania, and on and on. This is who he is, not a confused mind with dying brain cells. His Jesus is real to him in his inner man and it is amazing to watch him. One of our prayers at the beginning of this journey was for God to be glorified and Jesus be lifted up so that people would come to Christ. We had no idea this would be the way the gospel went forth but God makes no mistakes. Many of you have asked if this diagnosis could be wrong. Im afraid not. Ive notice little things for a couple of years and I think Bob has also. I thought it was the stressors in life. The dr said that when he got the myeloma diagnosis and the short experience in Arkansas, he plummeted and was no longer able to cope with the familiar. I have beaten my head against the wall with what ifs but I am having to come to grips with losing my best friend and Prince Charming to this dreaded disease. Then there is the myeloma. Chemo is not an option. I have to remember that our days are ordained before we ever live one of them (Ps 139) and we will not live one moment past that day. But the truth in that Psalm, my life chapter, also says He goes behind and before and that His thoughts of my Bob are too wonderful to imagine. Many decisions must be made quickly. Because of the dependence he has right now for his needs to be cared for, and because he falls constantly, six times last weekend, he cant walk at this point at all, I cannot care for him at home. Im not physically able. I tried last weekend, with the kids taking turns helping. The drs have said no. Bob is going to get hurt if I do. So, I must find a good place in Cookeville where I can be with him daily, feed him myself and do what I can, but mainly just being with him as I have for 45.5 years. I have to figure out a way to financially do this and what changes I am going to have to make in my own life. Im grateful for my family to help me through this. They are hurting for their dad and for me. Today is a very difficult day. I sense great loss. Your love and prayers are an encouragement. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Yvonne
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 14:11:26 +0000
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