I know I dont usually post long emotional things on Facebook, but. Maybe you dont know this because were not super-tight or you dont read my blog, but a few months ago I was officially diagnosed with depression (major depressive disorder). Like, the kind that sticks around even when nothings wrong, the kind that sneaks its symptoms into new and unexpected parts of my life everyday, the kind that has been informing much of my behavior for most of my life, the kind that has put a big ol strain on my relationships these past many years. Im still learning a lot about what this diagnosis means in my own life and the lives of those around me, how to wiggle through some kind of treatment that might work for me, what to hold onto and what to let go of. Im still learning a lot of things. Today I had to find a substitute teacher to come in for me and ask a professor for an extension because of the symptoms of depression I was experiencing. It was really hard to admit that it was what I needed, partly because of the unconscious ways we treat mental illness as invisible and different from physical illness (something I am still working to unlearn myself). For instance, on one hand I hear justifications like: If it was stomach pain, you would be in the emergency room; get the rest and care you need; on the other hand: I get that your depressed, but at least you dont have cancer! Its hard because though both of these are true statements, neither of these comparisons do very much to help me manage whatever Im experiencing. The fact of the matter is that the nature of my illness IS different from stomach pain or cancer, and the resources and allowances arent the same, and its rare to show improvement in a physical/visible way. I dont blame anyone who has used these sorts of phrases before (I know that I have) but I invite you to think about some of the hidden meanings that might be stashed away in them. I feel really fortunate to have people around who put up with me while I work to wrangle this weird part of my life, but there are still many times when I need to show the other parts of my life instead. The parts of me that are cool, strong, smart, and capable...but also depressed. I found that this article and photo series really resonates with me, and the particular admitting I had to go through today. If youre still reading this, thanks and Im sorry. slate/blogs/behold/2014/10/28/liz_obert_dualities_looks_at_the_hidden_and_visible_worlds_of_people_living.html?wpsrc=sh_all_dt_tw_bot
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 00:01:08 +0000
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