I seem to have been walking with Despair the last couple of days. Those that know the way know how hard it is to find, and know how easy it is to go back. It can take years before you visit her again. But once you know the way its just a thoughtlet, a memory, a song away. You stay with her because she understands. She doesnt judge. And she is as lonely as you are. There is comfort there. Thats the scary part. It can be more comforting in her realm than anything one could experience in reality. And once you go there, once you visit, thats what you remember. Some of us only visit for a short time. Others spend out entire lives with her. After all what is time to an immortal? Those that have never been there cannot conceive of the release she provides. Those that have, know all to well and will be there after your visit. I write this not out of depression, but to help those who cant understand. When you are in the realm of Despair, nothing can pull you out except yourself. Not your loved ones, not your friends, not the next ani difranco concert. It doesnt mean that you dont care, it means they dont have as strong a pull as she does. Try to understand that it is not out of selfishness that suicide occurs, but out of desperation. Understand that it is as real of a disease as cancer or Alzheimers. Preventative care, education and understanding are needed now. Not judgement, name calling or playing the blame game.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 02:07:34 +0000
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