I spent some time with a girlfriend that I have been friends since I was 13. We have continued a friendship that has lasted for 30 some years, even though we have been thousands a miles a part. I have not seen her since Austins funeral. She traveled 1000s of miles to be there for me in my moment of deepest despair. We spent hours on the back porch today talking, crying, catching up with each others lives. My friend gave me the greatest gift today. She shared with me that she was being selfish..... She would see pictures of me, hurt for me, and wanted the old Sharon back...... she couldnt bare to see the pain in my eyes. She knew me... If she saw a picture of me smiling.... she could see pain behind it. She thought I was gone forever.... and it was too painful to watch. She didnt follow Prayers for Austin for a while, because it was to painful for her. One of my greatest fears has been that people would look at me and pity me..... saying that poor woman has had a rough life. Because they could see the pain that I have endured. I know I have aged 20 years in almost 11 months..... But even though I have aged, lost vision.... I want to give hope, learn to live a life with joy..... and to give hope to people that may be in a life of pain and hopelessness. She told me today that she could see the life in my eyes in pictures throughout my journey slowly coming back. It was the greatest complement I have received since Austin entered eternity. It has been a long hard journey. I am so thankful that she is seeing progress and doesnt hurt her heart to look at me. That although I will never be the same..... She sees happiness, hope and light in my smile at times. For you Austin Scott, letting you know your mama is going to be ok!
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 02:10:40 +0000
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