I will have to say, something about the first pictures makes me want to gag. It has been a long road from the first trimester to the last. I did not expect a first pregnancy to be like this, or any for that matter. Tomorrow I hit the big third, at 28 weeks, according to my pregnancy apps that I religiously follow, but shouldnt! From problems in the first, to some rough roads in the second, I am hoping she stays in the entire last. Main reasoin for the long and uneventful sappy post, over the weekend I was having constant Braxtons, so as a precaution we were told to go to l&d, which that place at Heartland is a PERSONAL HELL. I should just deliver at home myself. Anyway, after the rude staff and the number of objects I had in my body, including a wonderful transvaginal ultrasound (your welcome) I was left with testing that showed that I was dilating, effaced 30%, and that my cervix was deemed incompetent at 2.6 cm. I was given shots in my arms that were delightful to stop contractions and shots in my hips to develop her lungs if she does decide to come early. My most recent appointment though, my fetal fibronectin test came back neg, which enlightened me that she wont be here, within the next couple weeks. What a great way to spend the last weekend of my second trimester. However, the whole time she was on the monitor for contractions, she constantly kicked at it all night and day, like she constantly does day in and day out now, which gives us a little insight for what we are looking forward to with this one! I did not ever think that I would have wanted to become pregnant, let a lone considered a mother, until after I had fallen in love and gotten married. It didnt seem to mean the same thing to me as it does now. Were going to be parents together and thats a big step. But boy, for trying so long and coming up empty handed for so many months, crying every month I got another negative and felt like I had completely ruined my body of any child bearing experiences, I sure was wrong. I have to give it all up to my husband, for dealing with the rough shit he has with me. He, without hesitation, bought everything for her room before we even knew it she was sticking around, has bought little outfits and things here and there every chance he gets for her, reads to her, and already loves her unconditionally (though I cant say being married to a nurse has been the most fun being pregnant thus far). I have been tortured with medical stays in a hospital that I hate and have been nagged at countless times to stay on top of things like eating right, taking vitamins, and all those extra precautions (though I cant say that after the first few weeks I was able to stick to my healthy eating, if eating at all was an option!) I constantly get onto my husband about what hes doing wrong or when he irritates me and I get that everyone does that, but what I see after all this time and the time to come is that he loves me unconditionally too, regardless of how terrible I am at times. At this point, I have been more concerned with getting my daughter to me and being able to see her and hold her, but now that shes actually trying to attempt to come earlier, I want her to stay put for many more weeks! I can wait a couple more months to be able to hold this little one, if it means she is healthier and bigger. What I do know is that I am creating a life as a result of true love, and at this point thats all that matters. To sum things up (after a very lengthy post, no one has to read it!) in the next couple weeks, we are going to be celebrating Jareds birthday which I know he is so excited for, and on Monday are going to be able to see little Kinsley on her 4D ultrasound. About time. In the upcoming months we are going to be getting his BSN graduation out of the way with a delicious cake as well as a baby shower (granted we have that long) with another amazing cake. I feel like Im going to get my cake fix in the next couple of months, with his birthday, mine, his graduation, and Kinsleys (why not get a cake for myself to eat after all this trouble??) Time does not fly when you are waiting for good things to come. In summary, I just wanted everyone to know again, how amazing my husband is, because though I lay in bed all the time, I am sloppy, I dont have the energy to put on makeup or nice clothes (like I even did before), I am lazy and I like to complain, he has put up with everything times 100 for the past 195 of pure torture that I have endured and have made him put up with too. After giving him countless foot and back massages, half decent dinners, and late night cuddles, maybe I can make it up to him for all he effortlessly does for me.
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 20:47:47 +0000
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