Im really depressed. I cant seem to get out of it. I think I lost my job over it today. I really hate when my illness causes these depression patches. I was just overwhelmed today with all the activities I did, so when it came time to work, I was too exhausted mentally to go. Today, I laid down for a nap and when I was supposed to go to work, I lay frozen in fear and could not move. I tried getting up and putting on my face mask but I coughed so much I threw up inside of my mask. So I had to get up and clean it off and try to go back to sleep. I even entertained the notion of going out to the hospital and checking myself in for a few days, but thats just stalling to me. I just dont ever know how long these depression episodes will last and I can be verbally cruel to anyone who tries to get me out of it, like my husband Greg, who took the brunt of it today. Now its 10:46pm and Im up and still depressed. No Im not thinking of doing anything stupid. But Im really disappointed that I could not go to work today. I know things will get better with time, but I hate what happens in between times. I still dont want to bother any of my friends or relatives with how I feel, so Im just stuck where Im at. Sorry, ranting sometimes helps for me. Ill stop for now.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 03:50:00 +0000
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