Interesting Article. Anyone of you facing this problem with your spouse? Passive Aggressive Abuse - The insanity of it There are many ways in which people use to control and abuse others. This is especially true of passive aggressive behavior, which is often abt making the passive aggressive look his best , while taking power from others and making them look or feel bad. The 4 main things which a passive aggressive person will try to control or violate in order to protect themselves from confrontation and rejection : The Right to Know When he violates yr right to know, he gives you unclear information, withholds information that you dont Need or gives you little or too mcuh information. With too little, you are left shaky and uncertain, realizing after he leaves that he didn’t really answer your question, or in fact made the situation look worse than you thought. This is where you may feel as if you’re expected to draw your own conclusions or “mind read.” With no information (“the silent treatment”) you feel like you’re walking on eggshells – or a mine field. When you are given too much information (anger attacks or blaming), you are not given time to speak, defend yourself, ask for clearer information, or set boundaries. The Right to Feel Your right to feel is violated when he tells you what you’re feeling, what you’re about to do or how you’re going to react. He may make claims about how you “always overreact” or how you’re just being “emotional.” He’ll make emotional demands about what not to feel (“Don’t cry”) or what you shouldn’t feel. The Right to Have Impact Crazy-making situations really start to show when your right to impact is violated. This is when he denies (by ignoring you, by overriding your needs with his own, by refusing to meet your needs) that you have an impact on his life. We measure our existence by how much impact we have on others, both physically and emotionally. If you feel like you don’t matter to him (don’t have an impact), it’s like being told you don’t exist at all! He can make this worse by “thinging” or objectifying you. He may treat you like a piece of furniture, coming to you only when he has certain physical needs. He may also deny your impact on him by denying contact – in other words, anything you say about his faults will bounce off and come back as something to use against you. The Right to Space The last way he may violate your rights is to deny your right to space. In many ways, this is your right to individual power – the thing he wants you to have very little or none of. He may violate your right to emotional, physical, time, or mental space by saying that you doing x violates his right to do y (thus painting you out to be the bad guy, every time). For example, your right to ask his whereabouts violates his right to his freedom. Your right to spend time together violates his right to privacy and quiet. And so on, and so on. These are the four main ways a passive aggressive husband exerts his crazy-making control over his partner and other people. Looking at them as your rights helps to understand this behavior as abusive – a denial of your personal rights to sanity and respect.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 02:58:29 +0000
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