Jewish Jokes - Oldies A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please. What denomination? says the clerk. The woman says Oy vey ... my God, has it come to this? Okay, give me six orthodox, twelve conservative and thirty-two reform! THE CITIZENSHIP TEST Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class. He was asked to spell cultivate, and he spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home. MOISHE Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: You need to join the Army of God!Moishe replied: Im already in the Army of God, Rabbi.The rabbi questioned: Then how come I dont see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?Moishe whispered back: Im in the secret service. IT HAPPENED IN SHUL A Rabbi approaches a guest in Shul and says, Id like to give you an Aliyah. What is your name?The man answers, Esther ben Moshe.The Rabbi says, No, I need YOUR name. Its Esther ben Moshe, the man says.How can that be your name? asks the Rabbi.The man answers, Ive been having financial problems, so everything now is in my wifes name.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Apr 2014 18:53:13 +0000
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