Just finished cleaning the bathroom floor after several days of decorating which has meant hour after hour of scrubbing, prepping, painting etc etc with constant interruptions from the tiny folk who reside in our home. In between the disruptions, decorating at this time of year always takes me back to getting Thomas nursery ready and today whilst remembering assembling flat pack furniture with swollen ankles and leaking amniotic fluid (been very young I thought I was peeing my pants and was far too embarrassed to say anything🙊) and thinking how much has happened in the last 16 years. You see at this moment in time I think I am having some sort of mid life crisis, my three wonderful sons are each embarking on life changing journeys and I am left watching them fly with a packets of Kleenex and this huge swelling in my chest which is a mixture of pride and sorrow. Of course my youngest starting primary school is a huge moment for me, Ive spent the last 16 years with a preschooler under my feet! I ache for those baby days back but Im also welcoming my new role, as a working mum and the freedom to pee at will and alone! Patrick starting high school too is a huge relief, hes been ready since he was about four years old and I thank god he got his first choice as quite honestly my nerves could not have taken the alternative! The cause of my heavy heart is the my beautiful, amazingly wonderful eldest son... On the 19th of August 1997 I collected my GCSE results, on the 19th of August 1998 my first baby was due...now 16 years later said baby is a week of turning 16 and he waits nervously for his own set of GCSE results. How on gods earth we have got to this stage of his life is beyond me, those 16 years have gone in a blur and now Im watching him flourish into an incredible young man. To say I am proud to be his mother is a complete understatement. You see when you have a baby at 17 NO ONE expects you or your offspring to ever become more than another statistic, the odds are stacked against you from the second you conceive and believe me when I say the only way to prove them wrong is hold your head high knuckle down and never listen to a god damn word people say, follow your heart, do what you know is right for you and primarily for your child. Despite the fact I knew that life was never ever going to be easy I knew from the second I found out I was carrying Tom that I was doing exactly what I was meant to do, I knew I would be fine, I knew he would be fine and I knew that this was a gift and my path in life was to be a mother. I went from been a spoilt only child to a young mother with a fantastic career, my own home, car and money in just 18mths. I finished my a-levels, passed my driving test, got a cracking job and eventually met my amazing hubby and went on to have four more beautiful babies. All this happened in four years! It all happened because very quickly I grew balls the size of a bulls and they were made of steel! That happened because of me becoming a mother, it happened because of you my beautiful boy! So now I am back to my decorating, just like I was all those years ago and you are about to embark on the toughest few years of your life, the ones that will shape the rest of your life. I know from experience we cannot predict the path youll take but I know which ever path you chose will be the one your heart tells you to follow and will always lead to something pretty damn amazing! Its your time to shine now my beautiful boy! Grab those cast iron balls Ive given you and make the world shine xxxxxxx (Ill just carry on decorating) xxxxx
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 16:29:32 +0000
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