MORE YELLING: So I met a very fascinating couple yesterday whove been together for 48 years and I asked the woman what the secret to longevity/happiness in marriage was. Her answer absolutely shocked me: More yelling. This was a soft spoken, charming and gracious woman. A loving mom and grandmother. Doting even. She showered us with delicious fare by their salt water pool, whom she kindly opened up to a traveling stranger because a new FB friend and I came to visit one of her daughters. I watched the kids play, we chatted, snacked and swam and this question about the secret ingredient of a happy long marriage was just something I asked casually before leaving. She explained it a little but the gist was: Youre going to have disagreements. Youll think differently about many subjects. Its not the end of the world. So since many of us grew up in homes with a lot of yelling and it took its toll on our nervous systems...I think now we go in the opposite direction. We feel raising our voices is not an evolved communication style. That its violence or a loss of self control but I promise you this: in some way...right now...you are yelling. Whether the volume of your voice is up or you are totally silent. Silence often yells the loudest anyway. Your vibe screams and whispers to the world. Without a word. So maybe we need yelling chambers. Places we can raise our voice without attack. Places we can be heard and held through our shaking rages. Because this woman had a lovely life and a smooth way about her. But she also emanated raw power. Not control and not dominance: but radiant power. So...suppressing it gives you cancer. Projecting it gives you neurosis and drama. Expressing it in a safe and non judgmentally witnessed way? Well it just might be genius.~Courtney A. Walsh
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 11:04:32 +0000
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