My good friends, I have a secret to reveal, and in doing so need your help. For several months now, I have been channeling for Zoxxar, 230th ruler of the Kwarkarkians, a race of space aliens which once occupied 837 planets. As you read these words, the last remnants of this great race are on a single spacecraft, heading for Earth. Unfortunately, on their way here, Zoxxar and the Kwarkarkians stopped off at Xandar 9, home planet of the Xandarians, the official bookies of the Lesser Magellenic Cloud. There they placed what, in retrospect, was an unfortunate bet on Quangsters’s Little Tea Cozy in the 812th race at Blorgerett. Finding themselves without sufficient funds to cover the resulting loss, they had to depart from Xandar in somewhat unseemly haste. Pursed by a number of supremely irritated Xandarians, Zoxxar reports that both his ship and life support systems were damaged. It has fallen to me to prepare an emergency landing site at the nearest wormhole in the cosmic space/time continuum that, as fate would have it, is situated directly above the Scioto Country Club in Upper Arlington, Ohio. I estimate that it will take about $400 million to purchase the country club and construct the landing site. Your donations of cash and labor will be deeply appreciated by the Kwarkarians. :p
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 01:44:16 +0000
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