My want is not to die but to struggle throughout eternity never knowing peace. What strength can be found where none is thought to exist. Happiness, so fleeting can only be found within but always sought in others. My music is words without sound. I am trapped in a plain of existence upon which I never feel a part of or integrated into. I am human and therefore alone. I am strength and also weakness. I want to be understood but veiled in mystery. I want to think without crying and laugh without dying. I have everything I once wanted but nothing I truly desire. Im but a fragment of what I once strode for, there was a time where I achieved and moved forward. Where I laid goals and plans and actually achieved them. Now everything always feels so far, so damned far away. My hands are wet with tears, with blood. Innocence lost but was already gone. The hwart it tries to remain true to What you were, always a fals imitation of a once great thing. Is it truly a flaw to see the good in people and overlook the bad. Ami such a bad judge of character. But who am I to judge, bring he who was judged. The heart is full and the spirit weak. I am human I wont be meek. But then I hide in my cave of reclusion. I found my religion to be a sin. A wholehearted preversion of truth and majesty. After many long years of hurt and pain. Sadness and depression. I feel out of tune with me and the universe. I want to be so far away yet next to people all the time. I want to know what I want instead of hating everything and understanding none. Just like every line of this was meant to come out differently but my mind wont sit still long enough. Bah forget it lifes too short ti contemplate anything. Maybe one day ill be as happy as I once thought I could be and with none of this silly life stuff getting in the way. As always time to smoke some weed so I can choose to think of better things for the time being.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Apr 2014 16:18:10 +0000
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