New Book Preview . . . " As the evening turned dark, an hour after I put down my telephone I felt it again, I felt alone and as if I was never part of your life. As if I didn’t matter, didn’t matter enough or at all. Our phone call could not have been shorter than it had been, as if you were not pleased to hear my voice. I’ve given you so much, I think of you constantly and whatever I do or try to do is in the interest of us both. But what have you done for me, I cannot even recall one moment where you sacrificed something for me, where you proved me that I mattered or was more important than something else in your life. You think of yourself rather than of us, what is in your interest is more important to you than what would be in ours. And I wonder if that will ever change while I know very well that it won’t. You love me, of that there is no doubt, but do you love me enough to think for us both instead of from your own perspective all the time? Whatever you decide must happen, and if I were not to agree with it, you would surely make your ‘desire’ happen on your own. It seems that you don’t need me, that you don’t need me at all and that I am just a casualty waiting its trail and eventually its downfall. We ‘live’ together, or that is at least how it seems from my perspective and that of many people around me, and yet if there are decisions to be made you’ll ask for other people’s opinions. People who aren’t in this relationship, people who are not supposed to participate in these kind of decisions and yet you listen to them, you value their opinion above mine. I believe you have no idea how painful and heart wrenching that is. Why is it that others’ opinions matter more to you than mine, why are they to have the upper hand in your decisions and not me? I sometimes ask myself what my ‘value’ is. What is my worth, what does my opinion mean to you? To me it often seems that my opinions are only words to you, with no validity as if I am but a ‘ghost’ that will fade in time and won’t be with you for much longer. If that is so, why not be clear about it all and stop this foolish little game? " - Medical Sarcasm
Posted on: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 20:59:03 +0000
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