OK, I just found one of Woodys columns that he wrote in March 2007. Wow, it says SO much! Its rather lengthy, but I think its well worth reading. It will make you stop and think. Never forget to say I love you By Woody Phillips Do you remember what your last words were this morning, as you left your family for work? How often do you let those closest to you know how you feel about them? Let me explain. I come from a somewhat unique family. My brother, two sisters and I were usually at each other’s throats, like most siblings. And, while it was never actually implied, we were pretty sure we loved each other. As for Mom and Dad, well, we felt ‘the love’ in one fashion or another from time to time. Mom and Dad weren’t exactly the ‘huggie-kissie’ types, but I can recall ‘loving’ times. My wife will gladly relate her first, second and subsequent impressions of my mom’s family. They can be a loud bunch, when they see fit, and they see fit more times than you might imagine. But the thing is this. The Dove side (Mom’s family) of my parentage makes no bones about it. They have enough love to go around, and then some. They just show it so loudly it can fool a lot people if they don’t look real close. Dad’s side (the Bargers) of the family was a little more laid back than the Doves, but not much. They took care of their own, as would be expected, and family was what it was all about However, I don’t remember a whole of “I love you” as a child. Maybe that’s why I tend to use those words ‘to an extreme’ at times. But can you utter those words too often? Let me fast forward a bit to the night my father died. (As a way of explanation, I really don’t know if my biological father is dead or alive. That was his decision to live with. However, the man who raised me since I was just over 2 years old passed away just before Christmas in 2001.) I remember leaning over him, as he gasped his final breath, and telling him I loved him. It wasn’t always that way between us. I spent much of my formative years rebelling against him, while formulating plan after plan to run away and search for my ‘real’ father. But my dad kept going to work every day and bringing his paycheck home every week and kept seeing to the raising of two boys who came with the marriage, as well as his two daughters. No, he wasn’t a saint. He enjoyed his beer and such, but he managed, with the help of my mother, to raise us all to the best of his ability. That was why I told him I loved him just before he died. I can’t say for sure he heard me, but I hope he did. I wasn’t quite so lucky when my mother passed away. My last words to her were, “I’ll see ya later, Toots.” I’m sure my memory is failing me (more and more every day, to be precise), but I don’t remember all that many “I love you-s” from Mom, as I grew up. And yet, I always knew it. My mother had a way of letting all of us kids know just what she was thinking, and all it took was a look. Of course, I remember those “oh my goodness, not again” looks more than any other, but there were those special times when, even if we didn’t do something really spectacular, she would look at one (very seldom all of us at the same time) or more of us as though to say, “Now, that makes me proud to be your mother.” Returning to the last time I saw my mother alive, I was leaving her apartment after having spent much of the day with her. She enjoyed just driving around and surveying the sights. I tried to make it a habit of telling her “I love you, Mom” as often as I could, and especially after Dad died. But to this very day, I can’t remember if I uttered those words to her the last time we were together. All my memory will allow me to recall are the words, “I’ll see ya later, Toots.” I have rationalized since, those words were likely prophetic. I know I will see her again, someday, or at least I hope I will. I just didn’t get to say goodbye, or I love you, one last time. My daughters may not be able to attest to how I really felt about them as they were growing up, but my son shouldn’t have that problem. I can state, without much fear of contradiction, that no matter how many times I raised my voice to him for ‘messing up,’ I always added the fact I loved him. My wife and I, though so much in love, have had our ‘moments,’ over the past 20 years. But with only a couple of minor exceptions, we have never ended a day or left the house without letting the other know how much he or she is loved. With that said, none of us are capable of turning back the clock. Remember, you really only get one chance to do something worth remembering. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you had to ‘wrack your brain’ trying to remember the last thing you said to somebody you were never going to see again, at least not here? Don’t let that happen to you. If you still haven’t made your New Year’s resolutions for 2007, just make one that will make the biggest difference in your life and the lives of those you care the most about. Don’t forget to tell them you love them. It might be the one thing they’ll always remember.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 12:41:11 +0000
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