Okay, so I am going to ask for a bit of Gods forgiveness right up front, here. I am just so beyond confused! And even that is progress over where Ive been most of the day. I think my drive, absorbing the beauty of the changing colors about me, a cemetery visit to my grandparents, great grandparents, uncle, and aunt for her and my grandmas birthdays, a long walk in the woods, a trek across the field of dreams, and a truly breathtaking pure pink sunset peeking itself through the dark, dreary clouds at just the precise moment of my biggest gush of tears, have all somehow worked together to move me past the pure anger I felt when I first headed north, thinking it would be the one place I could find solace, maybe even answers. But I just truly do not understand how we are expected to believe that if we do good, live well, love one another, give our best in everything we do, and put our trust in God, everything will work out as it should be?? Nothing right now seems as it should be... How is it that in a world filled with the uncaring, the self-centered, the ungrateful, the lazy, the opportunists, the jealous, the rude, the egotistical, the wasteful, the con artists, and even yes, the evil we see brought to us everyday by the news media; why is it that we should still believe in the power of goodness and love, in living the best, most loving, giving life we can possibly live? Why do we try to view the world through empathy and love when it seems that it is the most loving and truly good people, those who inspire us to be better, those are the ones continually removed from our world. We need these people!! We need their love, their goodness, their example, and their inspiration! We truly need the joy they bring to a world that is absolutely starving for some. I just really need some help here, Lord. I really am trying! Yet please, we want a world where the good is rewarded, and all the other nonsense just goes away. Trying to believe, but youre making it pretty darn hard lately. Looking for some guidance, just trying to understand why...
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 00:44:46 +0000
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