Once upon a time, there lived in the Great Donelson Wood a beautiful (but malodorous) creature named Scarlett the Skunk. Scarlett was very pretty with a lovely black and white coat and beady little eyes. However, Scarlett had a problem: though she always TRIED to remember her manners, Scarlett had terrible flatulence. Still, as long as the breeze was blowing more or less constantly, and she remained outdoors, it wasnt too bad for Scarlett, who TRIED to remember her manners (though her friends remained upwind around her whenever they could manage it without being too obvious, and - sometimes - made rude remarks about beans and lactose intolerance behind her back). Scarlett had fun playing Hide-and-Seek with her friends Benny the Buzzard and Coyle the Coyote in the Great Donelson Wood. She wasnt very good at staying hidden, though. And Im sure you know why, dont you? Thats right. Though she always TRIED to remember her manners, Scarletts flatulence gave her away. Scarlett discovered she had better luck hiding UNDER things, though. Youre clever, so Im sure you know why. Exactly! When she hid UNDER things, Benny the Buzzard and Coyle the Coyote had a harder time finding her - not only because Scarlett was harder to SEE, but she was also harder to SMELL. The Prevailing Wind Currents couldnt reveal her flatulence to them (though it was even easier for her to remain hidden when she TRIED to remember her manners). Scarlett especially liked it when the place she hid was Warm and Cozy and Dark and Safe. For then, she could take naps. Scarlett was very fond of naps. She was forever looking for good places to hide from Benny and Coyle where she could also nap, IF they took a long time finding her. One day Scarlett found a Wonderful Place to hide. It wasnt in the Great Donelson Wood, though. Near the edge of the Wood there was a white house with a red door owned by a gentleman called Mr Mark. There was a large metal box behind Mr Marks house that he called the AytchVac. A metal tunnel, or hall, connected the AytchVac to Mr Marks house. Scarlett was impressed. She approached the hall and noticed a small entrance near the ground. Scarlett so liked the appearance of this new hiding place, she gave it a Very Special Name. She called it The Return Air Duct, and walked inside. But when Scarlett first entered the Return Air Duct, and her eyes grew accustomed to the dark, she didnt know WHAT to think! There were Motors and Fans and Wires and Valves and Tubes and Fins and Pipes. They were a little scary-looking at first. They didnt look like ANYTHING Scarlett had ever seen before in the Great Donelson Wood. But still, it was Warm and Cozy and Dark and Safe, and the Motors and Fans and Valves and Tubes and Fins and Pipes took no notice whatsoever of Scarlett. And so, after a while, Scarlett took no further notice of them, either. After Scarlett had looked over and around and through The Return Air Duct, she began to be very drowsy. And so, Scarlett closed her beady little eyes, relaxed her lovely fluffy tail, TRIED to remember her manners but still (indulgently) flatulated (a little) in satisfaction, and took a nice nap in her Warm and Cozy and Dark and Safe Return Air Duct. SUDDENLY and WITHOUT ANY WARNING WHATSOEVER(!!!) all the Motors and Fans and Valves and Tubes and Fins and Pipes SPRANG to Life all at once, making a dreadful, horrid, loud, whistling, whirring, cacophonous NOISE like the inside of a steam engine! Startled, Scarlett sprang up in a panic! A Fan grabbed the end of Scarletts tail and gave it such a TWIST that she squealed in terror! Forgetting her manners completely, Scarlett flatulated terrifically & at great length, and ran out of The Return Air Duct and back to the Great Donelson Wood as fast as her little legs could carry her. And Mr Mark says Scarlett is never to return again, Unless and Until she PERMANENTLY remembers her manners.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 03:22:24 +0000
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