PRAYER God, take me home before Ive sinned too much to go to heaven. My cock quivers at danger My mouth opens at thought, unfiltered Its an onset of a breakdown outside and self control might become a thing of my past Everything is threadbare and torn and tattered and frayed and crackling through the stereo and radio like AM signals in the Breadbasket and I cant hear Your voice above all the noise But I pray that all my friends and family wake up and drink out of their crystal today instead of waiting for a special occasion --because there might not be a special occasion to be had and I pray the best for all I have known and I pray the best for all those I have hurt the strangers I have honked at and told what I thought of their driving in traffic I pray the best for those who I scoffed at in my head for their wrinkled shirts and belly jelly rolls and I pray the best for all those Ive had a mean thought over and I know You forgive me and I know that they dont care but I ask for help to help me forgive myself and to stop the black squid-ink colored tar that leaks out of my heart I pray that you can stop the icy veined lambskin coat I wear to hide the wolves and I pray that I can know You while Im still here on Earth and still stand a chance The people say you are this or that And the people say what makes you angry and the people say what pleases you The people say they know you based on what people wrote thousands of years ago and no one can even agree on how old this planet is And I pray for help from he temptation of the things that will destroy and I pray that my Mother knows how beautiful she is and my Father knows how much I like him as a person And I pray that I can cherish them and let go of the fear that I am going to lose them And the reality that I am That I will lose everything on this Earth That I will lose my best friends I will lose my parents I will lose my records I will lose my writing I will lose my mind AS THOUGH IM NOT ALREADY I will lose my body It will crumble It will become dust and then what good will my intelligence and arrogance do me then?! I know there is still a soul living in me sometimes I can feel it, separate from my mind and body, like an energy that his inhibited my mind... but our minds and survival-satiated bodies control our souls And some days-- sometimes Im convinced all we are is matter and chemical that will disappear to never be resurrected at all... only passed on in the ripples we left behind and our energy dispersed into a planet... That stays around our loved ones for as long as it can muster Until being diffused again and again and spread thin and blown everywhere and separated form itself in a world that will destroy itself eventually where we are all forgotten Some days, science wins... Some days, You win... and on the best days... I can see both of You at the same time, alive, and true. And it all makes sense. Please guide me to You, if you are someone who can understand everything I pray Please lead me to You, even if you really just are the Common Energy And let me be a better person than I have been Let me be a shining example Heal me Heal us all And may we all clank crystal here every day Because every day should be a celebration Because every day may be the eve of our destruction And if You arent there, I pray that I can accept our inevitable end and be thankful that I got to be here at know what I knew and feel what I felt at all instead of bitter that itll all go back to where it came I know I breathe in my ancestors and former lovers through dust and air every day But I pray that there is God and in some way we all know each other again after this life for ever with no pain and crystal glasses in every hand and smiles on every face and forgiveness in every heart that has turned into just a steady lack of angry and sorrow And I can hug those Ive harmed and let hose who harmed and hurt me hug me But, God, I am thankful that I can feel and see you in human beings these days. Im finally understand what it means that You are in everything and everyone This all is Your image This is all Your canvas And I am humbled your proverbial brush put me here.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 22:22:46 +0000
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