***Reader Needs Advice*** NO BASHING!!! I need advice please? Before I met my husband he was married, she cheated on him with his cousin. I met my husband in Nov 2011 & have been married since Dec 20011. His exwife is married to his cousin since 2008. Well they have two sons together. The oldest lives with her and we have custody of the youngest. I have been very supportive of the co-parenting relationship and know that us four will be in each others lives for the next 10 years. I need advice on how to approach situations with them or is it even my place? Let me give you a few examples. We live an hour from where we are originally from and they live there, his ex wife is always calling and asking for money for his oldest but it never goes to him. We were told in court that each parent is responsible for the child that is living with them. Before this we were giving her $500 a month because the house they live in has two rooms which is a kitchen bathroom and one room which her, her husband, our oldest and their baby all share. That money was suppose to be used to build our sons a room & get them furniture so that they have somewhere to sleep but after a year of giving them money that we didnt have to, we were ordered to stop by the judge. Mind you the room still hasnt even been started. Who would be as generous as us? I understand that this does not exclude my husband from father duties and we do everything we can from paying for our oldest school breakfast & lunch, clothes, all his sports stuff, & we practically do it all but he just doesnt live with us. She is on welfare, Medicaid, has no job & does nothing to better herself for their children. Her husband who is my husbands cousin is in and out of jobs and has told my stepsons that they are not his responsibility. I do not get this because when youre with someone with kids you accept them. I am going to school and with my income I do not have a problem with supporting all of us four. My husbands ex wife & his cousin bad mouth us all the time and it makes our kids uncomfortable. Its been three years that our youngest and oldest switched where they want to live. Our youngest, sneaks food, he engulfs his food, is scared to make noise, ask for things, has poor hygiene and we have been trying to make him comfortable, we talk to him, and put him in counseling. This is all from him living with his mom. My husband is a police officer so he cant be around all the time due to his scheduling but I go for the both of us. His ex wife tells the oldest that his dad doesnt care and all these negative things. But with our youngest they have not made any effort to attend school sports, awards, banquets, field trips, pay for pictures, attend birthdays...yet i have been to our oldest everythings and my husband does his best even taking off work to go. How do I tell them that this is not right? My husband tells me to just leave it alone but Im getting tired of us getting bad mouthed to everyone mind you the town we come from is small every one knows everyone and are all related. We took our youngest for a yearly check up the nurse mentioned he was on Medicaid and told us she would use the Medicaid first then whatever was left that it didnt pay our insurance would pick it up, why did their mom call us telling us we needed to give her the money because we used the Medicaid? This is not right! Please help me in approaching this situation. Thanks! Sincerely, Only The Stepmom
Posted on: Sat, 10 May 2014 15:09:59 +0000
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