S3...Chapter thirteen Bendingayazi ukuba ndiphendule ndithini...nam bendingayazi ukuba kutheni ndaske ndaxhomekeka etywaleni kangaka. I guess my pain was overpowering my judgement. Wandiyeka wabhekela...indlela ebendijonge ngayo bendingayithandi tu. Ebengandijonganga ngelahlobo lesiqhelo...ebendijonge ingathi ndisi stranger...phofu I myself was a stranger to myself. Mpendulo:Why Nwabisa? Andamphendula...oko ndimjongile...Khange ndithi andikufuni etywaleni Nwabisa? Nawe wavuma and you promised me that you wont drink again...ngoku unuka utywala. He breathed...wajonga ecaleni...waphinda wandijonga washukumisa intloko yakhe...Buphi Nwabisa? Me:Buphi ntoni? Ndatshelo phantsi. Mpendulo:Obutywala ububusela maarn! Buphi? Bukhuphe Nwabisa ngoku. Andashukuma...Ndithi bukhuphe maarn. Yeses! Washowta ndothuka...Khupha maarn! Washowta kakhulu...wahamba waya ewardrophini...wayivula...Bulapha Nwabisa? Wawisa zonke impahla zethu phantsi...Undiqhela ikaka yazi. Ndizakubonisa Nwabisa awundazi kakuhle ndakubona. Hayi awundazi. Wahleka. Wawisa nempahla bezikwi hangari...I was sobbing softly ndibambe izidlele zam. Me:Myena-. Mpendulo:Buphi?! Moer! Wandijonga ebebilile ephefumlela phezulu ingathi yingonyama...Wasondela kum...Ndikubawela nge mpama eshushu yazi. Wandilingisa ngempama ndaminca ndikhala...Yerr! He clenched his fists...waya kwi drawer...wazivula egubhulula...Andisoze tu ndizibone senditshate nenxila mna. Soze. Rha....ebephakamisa izinto ekhangela obutywala...bendimince ndingubani ukuba angaguqi phantsi akhangele ngaphantsi kwebhedi...Ingathi ngowukhetha ke...ukuba ufuna ukuba ngumfazi wam okanye ufuna ukuba ngunotywaleni Nwabisa. Ngoba andisoze shame ndiyimele le. Andisoze. Khetha ngoku...khetha khetha sisi ixesha liyahamba. Waqwaba izandla zakhe ngokukhawuleza. Nwabisa! Ndamjonga...Ndithi khetha! I sobbed a little bit louder...Ufane wakhala ezo crocodile tears zakho. Andizukuthuthuzela mna. Tshini caba ndisisibhanxa mna...ndisisibhanxa sakho mna? Watsho ezikhomba esifubeni...ndashukumisa intloko yam kancinci...Khupha utywala ke oku ukufihlileyo. Ebesehla esonyuka ngoku...Couldnt you have chosen a better night to do this Nwabisa? Heh? Wama wajonga phantsi...Indlela endikukhumbula ngayo mfazi wam...I miss you so damn much. Why do you let Satan control the steering wheel in your life? Why? Me:Ndicelu xolo. Mpendulo:Nyunyeyu xolo lwantoni maarn! Mxm! Wayothatha isports bag sakhe...waqala ukufaka impahla zakhe. Me:Wenzantoni? Akandiphendula...Mpendulo. Mpendulo:Ndiyeke Nwabisa. Me:Uyaphi? Mpendulo:Ndiyakushiya Nwabisa. He breathed...ndayakuye ngokukhawuleza ndambamba ingalo. Me:Ndicelu xolo Mpendulo. Soze ndiphinde. Ndicela ungandishiyi myenam. Mpendulo:Ndiyeke! Waxhutha ingalo yakhe. Me:Ndiyakudinga Mpendulo...please dont.. Mpendulo:You dont need me wena...youve made that perfectly clear. Kudala ndizama ukuzisondeza kuwe...reminding you that if you need a person to talk to ndikhona...okanye if you need a shoulder to cry on ndikhona. But what do you do undivalela ngaphandle. Ucinga nguwe wedwa ova kabuhlungu ngokufa kuka Inga? Mxm uselfish maarn. Selfish...yeses. Wavala isports bag sakhe...Im going to give you space to make up your mind quick Nwabisa. But if you dont I promise I will come back and take the children away with me. Me:Uzondithathela abantwana bam? I said in between sobs. Mpendulo:Awubahoyanga nje so abazu feela difference. And soze ndiyeke abantwana bam bakhuliswe linxilakazi mna. Yhoo amagama akhe andihlaba entliziyweni nyani...like ndava buhlungu nyani...Hope you make the right decision for your own sake. Wathatha isports bag sakhe waphuma ngomnyango. Ndashiyeka ndikhala phantsi kakhulu...bendimane ndiphelelwa ngumphefumlo...ndinesingqala. I crawled to the bed still crying. Ndakhupha labhegi phantsi kwebhedi...ndahlala ngempundu ndagqiyimisela umqolo wam ebhedini...ndakhupha ibhotile ndayimoma. Bendingeva nokokutshisa kwayo ngoku. Ibizihlela nje kamnandi. The more I drunk the less pain I felt...the more I drank the lesser the regret...bendingesakhathali noba uMpe undishiyile. Bendiziva ndithe futhu ngoku nale bhotile ibusinda. Ndaphakama ndibambelela ngebhedi...bekungenzima...ndama ngenyawu...ndane ndawu ezigxadazelayo...ndajonga irum yonke...bekuthe saaa zimpahla nje ne drawer zivulekile. Me:Mxm rytii umke Commander... Intloko ibigoqoza...Kakade...kakade... Ndabhodla...Andikudingi fu...fu...futseki...futseki maarn. Lento...lento le. Ndaphakamisa ibhotile ndayijongisa phezulu...Cheers. Ndahleka...Cheers Commander. Ndahleka...Attention! Ndama straight ingathi ndili soldier...ndaphela yintsini ndade ndaphantsu kuwa...Dom le...dom dom dom. Unayi nqondo? Ndabuza umoya...Heh? Mxm. Ndaphuma erumini ndigxadazela...ndaya erumini ka Kwakhanya...ndafika ndalayita isibane...Udakwaa njalooo...udakwa njalo...wopsi! Ndangena ndijaiva ndihleka ndiyilonto...Hambaaa sukaa! uKwakhanya washukuma ebhedini encwina...Yeeyi stay...still wena.... Ndamkhomba ngebhotile...Suzongxolapha...tshi...tshii. Ndaya ebhedini ka Inga...ndavula ingubo...Nwabsa! Nwabsa! Why?...why why why? Ndahleka...ndabeka ibhotile phantsi...ndaphinda ndayichola ndayimoma okukugqibela...ibisezantsi ngoku...bendingesaboni nokubona ngoku. Ndahleka...Yho...its dark dark dark... Ndatipa.......
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:50:51 +0000
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