SOME IMPORTANT NEWS! Greetings! I wanted to update you on some significant events of late. Due to a bad bout of Leptospirosis in February and March, these past months have needed be time of recovery, even though I have kept up with my normal workload. Each time I thought I had recovered and was gaining energy it seems that I was knocked down again. My eyesight was affected, a valve between my large and small intestine was also damaged, though not permanently, my hair is still falling out, thankfully I had plenty to start with. Moreover, and worst of all, I was hit by a terrible bout of depression. According to studies, a number of patients suffer prolonged mental symptoms after leptospirosis, ranging from mood changes, irritability and irrational thoughts to dementia, serious psychosis and depression. Inability to concentrate or to carry out skilled tasks may affect employability. The condition may persist for several months to two or more years; it may be permanent. Pretty gloomy and a lonely place indeed! I really went under, yet the hardest part was not knowing why I was feeling so low until I discovered that the blues, and I am not talking music, can be a part of the disease’s aftermath. I am normally a vigilantly when it comes to being positive and affirming the good in life, I have to be, I have PTSD and besides I love letting sunshine pour through my soul daily. The intense negativity that seemed to be attacking me therefore really threw me for a loop. I was having bizarre thoughts and couldn’t concentrate, which sadly put a temporary stop to my studies. Thankfully, once having ascertained that what I was suffering was of a physical origin and was neurological and not character flaws I was able to begin the process of healing. As of last week, I have reduced my responsibilities and am surrounding myself with positive healthy people and endeavors and I have begun to feel much better already. One thing this time out has afforded me is the opportunity to think through my relationship with Gerry Brown. I dearly love him and respect him for being the amazing human being that he is and yet I have suspected since earlier this year that we were not to be an item so to speak. I realized in order to be with him and especially marry him, I would have to change and lose very important aspects of what make up my core being, and he may well have had to too. There is a saying, “Marriage is not just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person!” and it became painfully clear that I was not the right person for Gerry. Therefore, with great sadness, I understood the need to move on. This change came with a great sense of loss and grief, but I take comfort knowing that becoming a friendship is the better option for us both. I send wonderful blessing to Gerry and pray he finds the kind of partner who will complete his life vision. It has been an amazing two years, for which I am truly grateful and have to say, “I love you Honey, may you continue to rock the world with your wonderful music!” Next month I go to Penang for a few weeks holiday with my family. I am truly looking forward to that. After some sun, sand, and snores I will return to Thailand and do what I do best, to whatever degree my body and mind wisely dictate. We’ll see! I do feel very positive though that all will be well as there are many wonderful things ahead for me. Thank you to those who knew of my struggles of late, which have included personal, financial struggles, safety (the mentally ill man who bashed me) and my emotional wellbeing, not to mention political unrest, I appreciate your support and kindness, it truly did make a difference. Having been through much worse I know that I shall not only survive but also thrive! Ho, ho, ha, ha, ha! The Thais would be want to believe that these events were a rash of bad luck (or some Karmic naughtiness from a past life) and therefore will soon change and if I were smart, I’d go out and buy a lottery ticket. With big love, laughter and joy to you and yours, Susan “Dusty” P.S. got any suggestions for winning numbers?
Posted on: Sun, 25 May 2014 01:27:23 +0000
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