SPARKING UP YOUR MARRIAGE FLAME!!!! We all love it when we are invited to attend marriages. Everything looks so beautiful and at times we always wish that the wedding event shouldnt come to an end. The feeling of love is so evident in the way they talk, look at each other, smile and do things together. The laughter they have with each other leaves people around smiling at the joy love brings. But we all know that every marriage must pass through it own challenging periods. That is why Im writing to you today to be prepared and be wise to know how to deal with such issues when they come. Its amazing to now mite that the same couple that once said I love you now hardly ever get along again, can not smile not to talk of laugh without an effort, arguments replaces discussions and one begins to wonder where love has gone to. A lot of times, both are busy pointing accusing finger at what the other is not doing. They try to correct what they think to be wrong via criticism and comparison. Then ego, silent treatment and mind games creep in. What this does is to kill the love flow and then gradually they start becoming strangers living in a particular place. The question here is, why is there no sustainance of affection? why does the honey moon suddenly end afterwards? The issue here is that both couple have allowed an important ingredient to vanish from their marriage. The instrument of romance was the reason why before you married her, you felt so much connection and attraction. You bought her gifts with precision and research. You always took your time to look at her with a ready compliment, you treat her and make her feel special everytime as much as you can and can afford. As the lady, when was the last time you were kind and sweet to him? just cook him a lovely dinner or get him a gift u know he will love. Just look him in the eyes and tell him how much you love and appreciate him with a seal of a kiss. These were things you did freely and easily when you were dating buh as soon as you got married, formality became the other of the day. Everyone needs to be told that they are loved and not only in words but via action. The acting is the affirmation of the spoken word, so how can you affirm what we say by actions. What speaks love to people differ and you have to understand the love language of your partner. Once the love tank of your partner becomes empty, frustration comes in as agitation ensures.. one thing that is unhealthy among couples is bottled up emotions. When your partner does what you can not endure, lovingly tell them with reasons why it does not go down well with you. Communication is key because no matter how good a marriage relationship is, it comes with its ups and downs and only through good communication can both parties be on the same page and flow easily. So rather than bottle it up and die slowly, just find the best time and let it out in a loving way. Same words do have different effect when used differently. So what do you do when your marriage is becoming more and more less affectionate? It is time to spice things up. Depending on how bad it is, you can always get things started but that is if both couples want to work it out truthfully and honestly. In this context we are looking at a born-again couple who do not believe in divorce and understand the role of the person of the holyspirit in relationship building. After you have prayed, it is important you sit down and do something for each other, something that has been neglected for long time. Highlight your strong points, talk about the things that made you fall in love with each other. Have a no holds barred reflection on the things that made you tick as a couple, reminisce about the little nothings you did and then when the atmosphere is no more tensed talk about what has changed and how it has been affecting you. the objective is to listen closely and carefully without interjecting each other. if possible have a note pad to show how serious you are with the details of your discussions. Now, if you successfully pulled that off, you have commenced the recovery process. Based on the listed things from your partner, you will now see areas that improvement is needed. Most times the first stage is difficult but always remember that someone has to sacrifice for the other. Someone once said that “in every relationship/marriage that is thriving, someone is paying the price”. Just imagine if that price is shared in proportions and the burden split happily. You have heard from your partner what they need improvement on and they would want some efforts towards addressing them. The sacrifice made will begin to feel their tanks and this is not the time to become the perfectionist or a fault finder but someone who will be a fan, cheering every move made. However, prevention is always better than cure. Before the love tank gets drained, plan vacations for two, dinner for two. Let her just dress up and feel pretty and without the kids, go out to a function or date nights together and plan to always have a day of the week when you both sit together to celebrate each other. Remember, whatever you dont celebrate will surely depreciate. May the lord bless your marriage/relationship.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 09:21:37 +0000
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