So Ive just been through all the shit we moved into our garage when our building work started...and I need everyone to remind me never again to purchase or stockpile the following... 1. Tins of Kidney Beans, Aduki Beans, Butter Beans, Lentils or any other pulses I have no intention of eating nor will my kids ever eat (#goodintentionsgonebadliterally) 2. Tins of Chick Peas (because that sausage casserole I make is only an excuse to include that bright pink, salty, fatty, factory farmed Mattesons sausage I put in it, and if anyone accidentally eats any of the Chick Peas I either have to pick them out of their nappies the next day or smell them in hideous farts all night) 3. Small, stupidly expensive Tommee Tippee containers for taking raisins, rice cakes or cut up veges out and about as snacks. If a miracle occurs and I actually find a base that matches a lid, my kids usually throw this kind of thing about in the car or they slip out of their hands leaving them to demand crisps, chocolate or expensive sandwiches at whichever child friendly venue I have brought them to in order for them to humiliate me with their behaviour. 4. Zany art supplies. You know you imagined youd do messy play with your kids in order to stimulate their creativity...then you realised you were the person responsible for clearing up this sort of shit, and working to pay for the damage to your house that you worked to pay for....yeah that stuff. My children usually throw it about then cry for a bit in the bath. 5. Condiments. Aside from ketchup (used to be forbidden, now one of their five a day) and Mayo (makes salad bearable) I do not need condiments of any kind. I have 50,000 jars of farmers market pickle, sun dried bat wings, Piccalilli (its got bits in it!!!! Waaaah!!!) and several jars of dried up, mummified Horseradish or Mint Sauce for the three times a year I think Im a super Mum and make a roast dinner (burnt, bad, stressful). 6. Harissa Paste. Dunno what its for. Got 3 tins though. 7. Wasabi. Cos we used to like it. When we had a life and ate Sushi (its all slimy, its not cooked, what is it? Ive wet my pants...) 8. Kitchenalia. If it can be broken, it is already. Good money after bad and all that. 9. A crinkle cutter. I bought it so that Una could hold vegetables more easily. Turns out she can throw crinkle cut carrots to the dog just as easily as straight cut ones. Kids are crafty arent they?
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 23:02:39 +0000
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