So... Last night... I climb into bed, and Maria asked me to trade pillows. We do so... then just as Im dozing off to sleep, I hear a sound that... the best way I can describe it is a twin engine by plane zooming past my head. Freaked me out. I start batting at my head, sitting up. I say. What was that... My darling maria... love of my life... her voice comes from -THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING- I dont know... People... (Im still laughing, this was so funny.) I have never seen her run from anything, let alone, NINJA TELEPORT like that. I swear she was RIGHT NEXT to me, the next second... GONE... no BABY, LOOK OUT! no RUUUUUN... Just Nightcrawler style BAMF, and she was OUTTIE!!! Im still dazed and confused, scrambling out of the bed. But thats not even the end... So now we know... there is a DRAGON, or some other DEMON SPAWN in our bedroom, trying to devour my beautiful soul. Im like turn on the lights. Shes like. OK then, as if shes GOD him self, she let there be light. Where is it? She asked. At that point quick-snatching, everything off the bed, jumping back if anything moves (Which is what happens when ever you snatch something right? Im jumping at -everything-) Finally Im like. Nah... Nahh, you a damned man... cowboy the hell up... I got this. I stand up... tighten the strings on my sponge bob PJs, and cowboy walk over to the dresser. Imma find that thing, and -deal- w... Oooh there it is. Suddenly, My Spongebob is standing there alone, still in the shape of my gorgeous bod, but Im GONE... back to the other side of the room. Thats how fast I got the HELL away from that thing!!! Then the negotiations begin. Serenitys like. I gotta go potty. Marias like You want me to take he... HELL NAW!!!! I picked up my 2 year old, and carried her right to the bathroom door. What I thought was the sound of fierce battle... was that evil woman of mine upstairs, laughing her ass off at me. Thats why Im unfriending her ass. She comes walking down the stairs like. Well... I couldnt find it, so were sleeping in another room. She only said that to be funny, cause she actually road huge MF-ing bug down stairs, and out the house. The moral of this story: Things aint no body got time for: 1. Snakes 2. Big ass bugs 3. -that- And Im -NOT- Marias friend any more.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 14:59:34 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015