So... how was your 2014, how about the last 5 months? Ours has been rough! But I have to say we are getting better at this new life we have found ourselves in. I can see how far we have come, when talking to an old friend that I have not talk to in a month, because I have good news to report... Jim is getting stronger again and back on the road to recovery. We now believe the set back a month ago to be a seizure not a mini stroke and that with time and more therapy he will be walking again with only a cane soon... Just not right now. Good news is always the easiest to give, but one of the hardest conversation is the one I found myself in on Monday. Last January, our youngest son Kyle had to undergo major surgery for scoliosis (his spine looked like an S) We all took the time off work and stayed with him through the whole 5 days at Childrens Hospital... We never left him, even for a minute. Though Kyle is 17 now, he is like a 5 year old and would not understand why he was suddenly in so much pain. Though we could not take away all his pain, we was never going to let him feel alone. That is one thing this family of mine is really good at... No one gets to feel loneliness for very long. We will switch up the conversation or suggest a new activity... No one gets to be just sad by themselves (the house is too small for one persons depression to go unnoticed). Last Monday, we had Kyles follow up appointment with his surgeon up at Childrens Hospital. Kyle has done great, all healed and his spine is straight and he is taller than me. He is happy and healthy and his Doctor and Nurse were both very pleased with his progress. So why was this appointment so difficult on little old me? The last time they saw us was 7 months before Jims stroke, our biggest concern then was how to make Kyle as comfortable as possible. Last Monday, the biggest concern was trying to get Jims Wheelchair and Kyles stroller to fit into the same exam room. The look in the Doctors and his Nurses eyes broke my heart. I suddenly saw our last 5 months play out in their glances to each other. I smiled trying to break the tension in the room... I laughed We have had better years for sure. We thanked them for how they helped Kyle, and promised to make another appointment in 6 months and we got ourselves out of there... Why do the looks of shock and sadness of these two professionals, start my waterworks? Because I cant take the sudden flood of emotions, I dont want to make them feel sad for us, but when I see us through their eyes... I feel sad for us too. I should be tougher by now... But seeing people from our past and trying to get them to understand that nothing is as it was, is exhausting. My advise to all the dear friends who dont know what to say is not to say anything... Even an I am sorry this is happening to you. Leaves the other person trying to make you feel better with a response it will get better - dont worry about us. Instead find a common interest and change the subject How about those Bears?(... In Three Rivers we are talking about real Black Bears not a football team.) If you truly want to be of comfort allow the person a back door... A way out of an uncomfortable situation, if they dont want to talk about the upcoming medical procedure - let them talk about the weather, or their pet or really anything but! Or Kim Ks butt. We are just a phone call from our knees and my poor Jim as a Detective in the Coroners office had to make calls to deceased loved ones everyday... So these days to him are filled with dealing with his own pain and healing not feeling other humans pain. Knowing what you are about to tell someone will change their life forever... It had to be one of the hardest things he had to face going to work each day. I am able to work through my own pain, but show me the tearful eyes of someone I care about and I am running for 2 tissues... One for them and one for me. Love one other, keep each other close in thoughts and prayers. The worst fear we should have is to not sharing our humanity. Your pain is way harder on me than my own. May God richly bless you and all those you hold dear. Jim comment after I read this to him... We will be fine. Yes, sweetie we sure will!
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 18:10:38 +0000
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