Sorry to take so long with the recap of the WXPFL Thursday Night Pencils Fights from Thursday October 16th but all my pencils were broken and I didnt have anything to write with. FOR THOSE THAT MISSED IT, HERES WHAT HAPPENED: The action started with a Luck of the Draw Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the WXPFL Championship. First up Ticonderobot v#2 took on Super Contra. Ticonderobot was accompanied by his new best friend and former foe Gorilla Sammartino. Super Contra defeated Ticonderobot, but then a video message interrupted. It was none other than exiled Gra-Fighter the legendary Graphite Sheik! The Sheik claimed it was his Persian scientists who created the growth ray and the mind control device that made Gorilla Sammartino attack Ticonderobot in the Rampage Monster Match in September. He said it was all because of Ticonderobots continued attempts to romance the Sheiks own pencil fighting robot The Khomeinitron 5000 way back in Season 2! The Sheik said that Ticonderobot will never see The Khomeinitron 5000 again, and his Persian scientists are now perfecting The Khomeinitron 10K who will destroy Ticonderobot once and for all. He went on to say that he would return soon, but until then would continue to torment Ticonderobot in any way he could! Then from out of nowhere, Super Contra attacked Ticonderobot! He used his 8-Bit Karate skills to knock out both Ticonderobot and Gorilla Sammartino, and threw them from the stage! Super Contra continued on, but was knocked out of the tournament by the next fighter, an able audience member, who was in turn defeated by The Lethal Lunchlady Edna Coli who was herself defeated by The Whispering Warrior The Librarian. Then we saw the debut of extreme sports legend Extreme Gene who parkoured all over the stage before settling in for the final battle of the tournament. Despite the money WXPFL owner Silas Ticonderoga IV shelled out to secure Extreme Genes skills, he only lasted one strike against the veteran fighter The Librarian! The winner of the Luck of the Draw Tournament and NEW #1 CONTENDER: THE LIBRARIAN! Next we saw the long-awaited combat debut of The Vagina Sisters as they took on their extremely estranged former spouses The Asshole Brothers! For the last few months The Sisters have interrupted The Assholes matches, costing them two different tag team title opportunities. This would be their first officially sanctioned face-to-face tag team pencil fight. It was a fierce contest, but The Assholes claimed one of their first victories in months, using their patented irritating antics to throw their opponents off balance for the win. Both teams squabbled and then The Assholes attacked, grabbing the pies that Edna Coli had left to cool on the windowsill of the stage and pie-facing both Vagina Sisters! Both Vaginas were left dripping with pie as The Assholes stole their Unicorn hobby-horse and scampered off into the night! The long standing Asshole/Vagina feud continues! After we cleaned up the pie, we got a psychic slideshow from Eberhard Faberius - Pencil Wizard who has been taking Betsy Threatsys body on a world tour ever since he and Betsy switched bodies in the Astral Plane match earlier this year. Hes been hitting notable American locales from New York to New Orleans, but is now being pursued from place to place by Betsy (who has left Eberhards elderly body and now controls the body of formerly perky Head Cheerleader Penelope Peneston). Betsy wants her body back and Eberhard is being chased right back here to Seattle! Next was the 3rd annual WXPFL costume contest, and seven costumed audience members stepped up, and the audience chose their favorites via applause. It came down to a hot pantsed dude named Dick and a mystery woman calling herself LadyRaser - the #1 fan of The Erasers! No better way to decide the winner than a pencil fight, and soon LadyRaser smashed Dicks pencil win the contest and the prizes! Our first main event match began, current WXPFL Ticonderoga Tag Team Champions Dirty Money (Swami Pervii Slurpii and his attorney Morty Manischewitz) took on the debuting tag team of Stacy the Bear and DudeManHey the Living Bong aka Team Bear-Bong! The team are two mascots for the brand new weed-tourism themed theme park New New Amsterdam which is opening this summer, and are doing the natural thing and cross-promoting with the WXPFL! This was a non-title match, and was a great debut for the two smoked-out mascots, but Dirty Moneys obscene win streak continues. Your winner: DIRTY MONEY! Our main event was scheduled to be High Chief Anakortes Orkas The San Juan Island Savage vs The Hundred Dollar Man Thaddeus P. Skrilla for the WXPFL Championship, but when Skrillas music played, only his unpaid intern Danny came out on the stage, carrying the belt and with a note pinned to his back! It was a note from Skrilla, stating that he was at a Hundredaires Conference and that Danny would be defending the belt in his stead. Poor hapless Danny was no match for The Savage, who destroyed Dannys pencil and won his fourth title reign! Your winner and NEW WXPFL CHAMPION: THE SAN JUAN ISLAND SAVAGE! NEXT MONTH: HUGE NEWS! We embark on part one of our WXPFL World Tour of Seattle by taking the show on the road! Same third Thursday, same 9pm showtime, new arena! The Pocket Theater at 8312 Greenwood ave N is first to host the WXPFL mayhem on Thursday November 20th! Check back on the WXPFL facebook page for more information! BE THERE TO FIND OUT: Whats next between The Vagina Sisters and The Asshole Brothers? Will the Sisters get their beloved Unicorn back? The Savage will face The Librarian for the WXPFL Championship, but remember The Hundred Dollar Man still holds the Magic Eraser, and could claim a championship shot at any time! Is there a team in all of pencil fighting that can defeat the self-flagellating cultists of Dirty Money? Will Betsy Threatsy ever reclaim her body from Eberhard Faberius? And whats happened to Penelope Penestons consciousness anyway? Will we ever escape the evil shadow of Betsy Threatsys dark pencil magic? Has Super Contra fallen under the control of The Graphite Sheiks Persian scientists? Will The Sheik make good on his threats to return to the WXPFL with the Khomeinitron 10K to destroy Ticonderobot? All this plus much much more on November 20th at the Pocket Theater! BE THERE OR BE A PENCIL DRAWING OF A SQUARE!
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 18:13:40 +0000
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