THIS COULD GO EITHER WAY… Some of you are going to TOTALLY disagree with me… And some of you will TOTALLY agree… And some may think, “hmmm, that’s an interesting way to look at it.” Either way – I just gotta say it because it’s on my mind. I absolutely LOVE to see women be successful (in all areas of life). It makes me smile. It makes me happy. I feel joy. I think when women support each other and lift each other up, we are a force to be reckoned with! That being said, this morning I saw a before & after picture of a woman posted on FB. Along with that picture I saw all kinds of comments telling her how beautiful she looks now and how amazing she looks. I think most people would say, “that’s great!” And at first, I did. I was really happy to see this woman (I don’t know the woman, by the way) and her weight loss success. I could really feel how happy she was feeling in the after picture. And then I got really sad. Here’s why: I started thinking about my own experience with weight loss, weight gain, and transforming my body. It’s been a rollercoaster for me from being anorexic in my late teens/early 20s, to gaining weight back and living a very dark life of bulimia and binge-eating for most of my early 20s, to sort of leveling off for quite some time, and then to competing and feeling really great about it at first and then falling into the darkness of obsessiveness and major body dysmorphia, and now to a place of peace and love for food and my body. So, what’s this have to do with the woman in the photos? One thing that I’ve noticed for myself is anytime that I would lose weight or transform my body for a competition, the compliments would start rolling in like crazy – “you look great, Erin!” – “wow! You look fantastic!” – “OMG, you look amazing!” And on and on and on. What I realized is that in the f*^ked up way that my mind works, this was consistently sending a message to me that I’m good, amazing, fantastic….when I LOOK a certain way. WHAAAAAT?!?! Yup. Think about it. I wasn’t getting those comments when I was just me, Erin, healthy weight, doing my everyday thing. Subconsciously, I had this belief and mindset that I was only good enough when I LOOKED the way I looked when all the compliments were pouring in. And this created so much f-ing pressure to stay that way, or worse – lose even more weight, in the case when I was anorexic, because when I didn’t, well then, I wasn’t good enough. So that’s why I was sad for this woman. Because I know what that pressure feels like. I know what it’s like to feel so amazing and excited about the transformation and I also know that there’s this other side of things that doesn’t feel so great. I think this is often why we sabotage ourselves. The pressure just gets to be too much. So think about it. How many times do we compliment other women, just for the sake of making their day? How often do we say, “you ARE amazing, fantastic” or “you have a beautiful soul” no matter what they LOOK like, because they truly are fantastic no matter what they look like? We need to lift each other up way more for who we are and not what we look like. Just my thoughts for the day. As always… With love, Erin
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 00:00:01 +0000
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