THIS WILL BE LONG.....BUT IT HAS AN IMPORTANT POINT TO IT As an educator.....Im going to talk a little shop for a few minutes. This is just of my thoughts that I want to share with fellow educators....read if you like, skip over if you prefer not to read it. I started getting that feeling that my mission in life was to work with children when I was just in the 8th grade. I then began working with young children when I turned 15 through a local daycare. I stuck with that until I graduated from college with my degree to work with Special needs children (my first passion) and Regular Elementary age children (my second passion). I am currently in my 30th year of teaching for the school system.......and....this is the most important point I want to make.....IM STILL LEARNING!!!! IM STILL MAKING MISTAKES AND STILL LEARNING FROM THOSE MISTAKES. Currently I am reading 2 books: The Leader in Me by Stephen R. Covey and Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Fay & David Funk. I also read The Seven Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey at the beginning of the school year. Why am I reading these books? Its NOT to find some magical solution or one size fits all solution to dealing with all the challenges that come with teaching a diverse group of students each year. Its to make me think!!! Its to challenge myself to find ways to better understand todays youth and possibly see what CHANGES I NEED TO MAKE WITHIN MYSELF AND MY OWN TEACHING STRATEGIES that will lead to setting these youngsters up for success. All educators that have spent any time in any grade level classroom.....and that doesnt just mean General Education....it also includes Special Needs as well....we all know that in order to truly be able to teach, there needs to be some structure and order in the classroom. Often we (EDUCATORS) find it easier to blame the children and their parents for all the problems we are unable to solve in our classrooms. I can say that I have done that, at times, myself. I find a challenging child and try my little basket of tricks and they dont work.....well it MUST be the child or his/her parents because I couldnt possibly be the one who needs to change. WRONG!!! I was blessed to attend an intensive training last year called APL training. The APL does not stand for three little magical words ....its just related to the last names of those who came up with all of the common sense strategies that are taught. The training taught me much.....and it reinforced much of what I have always believed and tried to put into practice in my own teaching. I have watched, over the years, many parents struggle with how a teacher communicates to them about their child. I have watched this occur within my own family and seen the frustration that many of my nephews have experienced for being branded and labeled because they werent the easy kids to control in class. Ive watched them be grounded, lose items and privileges and just about every type of punishment possible as their parents attempted to force them to fit into that perfect easy mold that the teachers were communicating that they expected. It has disheartened me on many occasions as I knew of such simpler solutions that would help but would require a change of thinking from teacher vs. student vs. parents to a true TEAM approach. I have read notes sent home by professionals that have made me shake my head as a fellow educator. Sometimes it made me stop dead in my tracks and take a look at myself as a teacher. Have I written notes like that when Ive become frustrated and not known what else to do with a particular child? Did I send an unspoken message of failure to the parents because I could not, in fact, find a way to deal with problems in my classroom? I have , Im sure, done that even if it was not intentional. I guess that never being given the blessing of being an actual parent raising my own children made me less able to see things from both sides until I had nephews and nieces. Even then, I dont know the day to day struggles from morning to night. I only know that when I see a family that is genuinely trying to deal with raising a child that doesnt naturally conform to all the rules right away.....and Im not just talking about family members now....it has made me change how I run my classroom and how I communicate challenges to parents. Before I get some valid arguments here......let me go ahead and give affirmation that there ARE indeed those parents that are not worth a darn!! True.....those parents do exist and their children do not come to us with the skills that we ASSUME are taught at home. However, writing a note home to try to force an already uninvolved parent to do their job is not going to help solve the problem. We, as educators have to take the time to teach (kind of like on the job training) the students the skills they are lacking. Now.....let me make an equally valid argument.....there ARE also those teachers or employees in the education system who are also not worth a darn. They make it into the system and are entrusted with a year of a childs life and can do as much damage as a parent who is not equipped to raise a child. MY POINT......the children are the ones who are often getting caught in the middle of an unnecessary power struggle between school and home when the school and home dont communicate effectively and work together as a team to try to find logical solutions to challenging problems. And YES......it can be done.....but it may take some hard effort, change in mindset....and more or less blood, sweat and tears in some cases. I will always say and believe that a child is worth it. Someone has to step up and make them see a good side of themselves. Give them something to hope for and allow them to feel some positives and success. If we dont do it.....who is going to? WHERE DID WE EVER GET THE CRAZY IDEA THAT IN ORDER TO GET A CHILD TO DO BETTER, WE MUST MAKE THEM FEEL BAD???? If you come to work every day and your boss starts looking for you to make mistakes so he/she can point them out and yell at you and punish you for it.....will you want to do better? I wouldnt!!! If your boss always overlooked anything good and positive you did....even if it was just something minor.....would you want to try harder?? I wouldnt!! If your boss gave an unspoken message that you were messing up and challenging their leadership skills and causing them to work harder to deal with you....therefore giving you the impression that you werent welcome there, would you try harder?? I doubt I would! Lets stop and think, as educators.....before we send those daily notes home or those negative phone calls......what is our true purpose in doing so?? What is the result we are hoping for when we send the negatives home about a child? Is it to show them for acting out in class? Is it the mentality of Ill show you.....I will tell your parents and you will get grounded, or lose all of your toys and fun things and Ill make you pay for making my day challenging!?? After a note or two.....is the situation changing?? If not, does that automatically mean its the childs fault or even the parents fault?? There are those RARE cases.....but predominantly it might mean that WE...the EDUCATORS need to re-evaluate ourselves, our methods and strategies and find a different way. We might have to admit that we failed that day or over several days and as a result, its going to take longer and more effort to get that child to trust us enough to believe that we see potential....something good within him/her and work to bring it out. YES....we have a hard job.....and yes theres a lot of other factors that parents dont always realize about our jobs.....pressures that we are constantly under too....but does it help to take it out on the parents or children??? Im just saying!! Its food for thought. Make those children BELIEVE (even when you dont) that they ARE smart, they ARE kind, they ARE important....mistakes ARE for learning and they ARE learning and that you will love them through it. Dont equate their behavior to their person....its bad CHOICES....not bad children.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 22:09:14 +0000
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