TO: All staff RE: From paper shredder, to something better! Hi All, In the wake of the unfortunate paper-shredder incident that occurred yesterday, the Creative Executive’s ongoing Office Aesthetic Improvement Initiative (OAII), in conjunction with Ms. Liskaser and the rest of the OH&S team, has deemed it necessary to assess all secondary risks and visual unsightliness that might arise from the use of paper shredders. It has consequently come to our attention that the variety of paper so often shredded (white and rectangular, measuring 29cm x 21cm) poses two substantial safety risks to company employees. Firstly, the sharp, angular edges of the paper can cause significant injury when accidentally lodged under one’s fingernails or in one’s eye. Secondly, the searing whiteness of the paper, should it happen to catch and reflect the sunlight, runs the risk of permanently damaging one’s ocular nerve. As a result of this thorough assessment, it delights me to inform you that upon the reintroduction of paper-shredders to the office, conventional white paper will no longer be in circulation. Instead, circular pieces of beige-coloured paper will become the standard for the office. This is a triumph for both safety and creativity alike: in addition to greatly reducing the risk of glare-blindness and eye/hand cuts occurring, beige circles will heighten the aesthetic harmony of our work environment. As I’m sure you know, the therapeutic and visual benefits that flow from interacting with a pale-brown interface, as opposed to a staunch white one, are well-documented. Pending the success of this initial roll-out, the Creative Executive will investigate the feasibility of expanding the scheme so that all variations of beige (Cosmic Latte, Tuscan, Buff, etc) can be properly represented. Should you have any questions about this, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Kindest Regards, Harvey Creative Director
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 07:17:20 +0000
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